‘We are all guilty of making our children feel like a star’
Says Soha Ali Khan as she speaks to Sonali Pitale Joshi about parenting, raising a two-year-old and the spotlight on star kids these days, at an app launch meant for kids
What qualities that you inherited from your parents, would you like to pass on Inaaya?
First quality which I want to pass is of my father, which is always teach by example. For example, I tell her not to lose one’s temper, but she sees me getting anger on my husband or the cook. Inaaya sees that and asks: ‘Mumma, why are you getting angry?’ So, I need to control myself and if I don’t want to teach her to yell and scream at someone then I should not do it. I have never heard my father raise his voice and I have understood raising a voice is not an admirable quality. Similarly, he never used his phone, if you looked at his phone it was always off. I used to say, ‘Abba what is the point of having a phone when it is often off whenever I call?’ He would say, ‘The phone is to make you available to me. So when I want to talk to you I will turn it on and call you and not the other way round. Just because I have a phone doesn’t mean that you can call me whenever you want.’ These are the things he lived by, so teach by example is a life lesson for me. As far as my mother, she is a curious person and always wants to learn new things. And, I think I have inherited that quality from her. And would definitely want to pass the curiosity part to her.
What about the constant media attention star kids get?
We are all guilty of making our children feel like a star. We keep making thousands of videos and photos of them and the child thinks she/he is a big star. Star kids also get exposed to the paparazzi and it makes no difference to them whether it is this camera or that. I don’t think it is a big deal. Inaaya knows how to smile for the camera and I think it is good to know the technology. She might want to be an actor when she grows up and she will have to deal with it. And since she will be dealing it that at a young age, it will an advantage for her. I also feel there is a certain loss of innocence. I remember I did lots of things, which were not documented ... games that I played, clothes that I wore...there are very few pictures of them. There is something wonderful about that. Today, we document everything that happens in our lives, which is good and bad too. Are you scared of exposing your daughter to gadgets like phones, etc. as they are harmful for their eyes?
Yes, feared that she was not physically fit for the screen time and it will damage her eyes. Then, I did a lot of research and spoke to doctors, they said till the child is 18 months, it doesn’t damage their eyes. But the concern is that it is not engaging the child, because they don’t know what is happening as they have no no connection to the images on the phone. They can only make that connection after 18 months. Two years is actually a right time to introduce screens to them, because they can recognise, say, an elephant which they might have seen in a zoo or other things they might have come across in real life.
What about kids not engaging enough in outdoor games?
My child is two and she is still learning motor skills. The other day she took my phone and started running, she dropped it on her foot as it hurt her. She then returned the phone to me, as she has learnt a lesson. I have also dropped my phone on my head while watching something. My point is you have to be responsible and set the right examples for your child. Two years is a right age to select content for your child and this VOOT app is perfect for that. She keeps asking me questions and I have to explain everything to her in an entertaining way in two minutes because she looses attention after that.