Etiquette & Manners

THE words ‘etiquette’ and ‘manners’ are often used interchangeably but there is a subtle difference between the two. How exactly is etiquette different from manners? Well, etiquette comprises a set of rules of conduct whereas manners are general principles of behaviour. Etiquette is considered elitist but it is advantageous for all to learn some basic rules.

Both etiquette and manners are relevant in social contexts and are meant specifically to put others at ease. While manners depend on upbringing and environment, etiquette needs to be learnt as it involves several specialized skills and knowledge. ‘Sorry’, ‘ excuse me’ and ‘thank you’ are all words of good manners bordering on simple etiquette.

In specific social contexts etiquette has to be observed. For example, in a funeral or a public occasion or formal parties one is expected to do cer tain things and dress in a par ticular way. Etiquette tells you how to address elders or strangers in high offices and what you have to do when you are introduced to someone. Even a handshake can tell a lot about one’s personality. So it is essential to do a good job of it.

At a for mal dinner, just obser ving good manners will not suffice. Only etiquette can tell you which item of cutlery to use for which dish and where to keep it before and after using, when to actually star t eating, etc. In many countries there are finishing schools which teach etiquette. Good etiquette gives one an edge over others in social circles and helps in shaping careers while a well-mannered person is always popular and sought after by employers and clients.