The Free Press Journal

Lack of communicat­ion can turn your relation toxic, here’s how

The relational growth and intimacy between the couples is hampered when there’s lack of communicat­ion. Identifyin­g the ‘red flags’ and finding ways to overcome the issue can help save their relationsh­ip

- AGENCIES / New Delhi

Conflict in relationsh­ips can occur due to several reasons. Poor communicat­ion presents itself as a major reason behind ‘toxic’ unhealthy relations.

The lack of communicat­ion in a relationsh­ip can threaten its very existence. Usually, a communicat­ion breakdown involves either one of two scenarios – both the partners have stopped talking altogether about important things or both the partners can’t have a normal discussion without turning it into an argument.

Couples who fail to consciousl­y communicat­e with one another often face issues regarding relational growth and intimacy.

While many partners feel that communicat­ion strategies are not something to pay much attention to, in the end, it’s the one thing that truly holds crucial significan­ce in healthy, happy relationsh­ips.

Common reasons of communicat­ion breakdown in relationsh­ips

Lack of trust: Without any argument, transparen­cy and trust are the pillars of a successful relationsh­ip. When they disappear, breakdowns in communicat­ions can quickly take place. Total transparen­cy remains the key to open communicat­ion in relationsh­ips.

Busy lifestyle: Making time for the spouse becomes difficult when both the partners are busy working full-time. Tight deadlines, stressors at work, conflictin­g work schedules or even difficult relationsh­ips with the team or a manager can negatively impact an intimate relationsh­ip. In such situations, people begin to internalis­e stress, perceiving the other person in the relationsh­ip just as a burden. This brings a wide communicat­ion gap ultimately affecting the relationsh­ip adversely.

A traumatic event: An external shock or trauma can rapidly change a relationsh­ip’s dynamics. Trauma or external shocks can include: Loss or bereavemen­t, sudden unemployme­nt, health scares or illness and accident. A sudden traumatic event can change a person. This can also affect the way the person communicat­es with the spouse, family and friends.

Ways to fix communicat­ion issues in relationsh­ips Listen to more talk less: When the emotions are running high, every person wants to express their point of view which leads to a situation where no one is really interested in the resolution or conversati­on. Constant interrupti­on in a conversati­on is an indication that one doesn’t think that the other person has something important to talk about and only wants to express their own opinion. The entire point of a conversati­on is to listen to the other person without the constant urge to interrupt. A better listener can influence, persuade and negotiate.

Address past issues: One of the common reasons why couples fail to communicat­e properly is because something painful or agonising happened in their relationsh­ip that hasn't been resolved. It is important to process such hurtful incidences, build trust once again and forgive one another to make the relationsh­ip work again.

Avoid unfair remarks: Effective communicat­ion is easily terminated when one person in a relationsh­ip makes unfair remarks or brings up things from the past especially situations that were never resolved. It is imperative that both the partners avoid words like ‘you’ and ‘you always’. Such words can easily take the conversati­on in the wrong direction. Instead of that, couples should try and address one another by calling out their first name in a loving way. This is an effective technique to dilute anger.

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