Breaking stereotypes for moms
Kalki Koechlin gets candid about motherhood, how she battled postpartum depression, and more
Kalki Koechlin, who embraced motherhood in 2020, describes herself as a “worrying hands-on mama.” This Mother’s Day, she shares how motherhood changed her life, battling postpartum depression, and more.
Kalki welcomed her daughter Sappho with her boyfriend Guy Hershberg. She says, “It was unplanned and the best surprise ever.” The actress opted for water birth. Explaining why she didn’t go for the traditional method, Kalki explains, “It helps in dilation, alleviates pain in labour, and reduces the length of postpartum recovery because the body is going through a natural process and is quicker to heal, also the baby is less traumatised by the birth because she has been in amniotic fluid for nine months, the water is a smoother transition out of the womb.”
The actress, who was mercilessly trolled for having a child sans wedlock, says, “You can’t please everybody, and there’s always got to be
some criticism in a healthy society. However, when it gets violent or intolerable, it’s important to draw a boundary. There’s a very powerful tool in all our hands; it’s called aeroplane mode. Sometimes you just have to switch off from social media and focus on the present surroundings.”
According to Kalki, in order to have a child without marriage, it is important to know how much your partner is going to be involved from the start and who your support system is going to be.
Kalki had previously admitted that she battled postpartum depression (PPD). She shares, “It’s really tough in the first few months because your sleep cycle is gone, especially if you’re exclusively breastfeeding as I was. I constantly felt tired and like I had constant unfinished business both mentally and physically around me. Everything was left half done, and it felt like it would never change. But it does change, and surrounding yourself with people who remind you and emancipate that change is essential to beat PPD; getting help, physically and emotionally, is really important. Also, there are basic biological or hormonal issues, so it’s important to share them with your doctor. I found out I had a severe iron deficiency through some simple blood tests, and working on my diet and supplements made a huge difference to my energy levels.”
Kalki still feels being a mom is worth it all. “Motherhood is a real leveller in that sense. It makes you look inside yourself for the meaning of your life, and you figure out what is most important to you. Because you’re so busy with a child, you only
really pick the things that matter most and focus on getting those things back on track,” she states.
The actress, who continues to fulfil her professional commitments, agrees that as a mom, she does feel guilty about leaving her child and going to work. “Whether you work or do something else, closing the door in order to have some private space is essential, the child cannot be everything in your life,” says
Kalki, who turned brand ambassador for Haus & Kinder.
Kalki, who will be seen in the web series Made In Heaven season 2, says that ever since she became a mom, her approach towards work has changed. “I don’t take up everything that comes my way for the sake of working. I think about the balance of home and work life. No doubt the financial responsibility is greater, but working just for money doesn’t make sense to me now. If I’m away from my kid, it’s got to be making me happy or helping me grow. Also, ironically, even though I’m more busy handling motherhood and time is precious, I want to spend more time on my projects, too,” she concludes.