How I Met My Life Partner

Shalmali Kholgade spills the beans about how love blossomed between her and hubby Farhan Shaikh

Singer Shalmali Kholgade, who is best known for chartbusters like Balam Pichkari, Lat Lag Gayee, Baby Ko Bass Pasand Hai is a true romantic at heart. The Free Press Journal caught up with her for an exclusive conversation about her love story with her husband Farhan Shaikh. Excerpts:

When and how did you first meet your husband Farhan?

I was introduced to Farhan as playback singer Nakash Aziz’s cousin over seven years ago. Farhan and his friends used to hangout at Love and Latte every other night and if I had the time, I would spend a lot of time with them at the end of the day. We ended up talking a lot over those days.

Who played Cupid?

I guess I did! Farhan claims that I would come dressed very fancily there because I wanted to impress him. Obviously, I deny such claims. But I know it makes him happy to think so, hence l go along with it.

What was your initial reaction when you saw him? I am very glad that I didn’t have a love at first sight experience with Farhan. Farhan is extremely attractive looking but I find intellect to be the most attractive quality in a man. So the more time we spent together, the more we spoke and shared our thoughts, the more attracted I felt to him.

What was the ice-breaker?

Farhan’s sense of humour I guess. He is funny all the time.

Who took the initiative to fix a date? I did.

Where did you go for the first date?

We went for a Vir Das’ show, had the time of our lives, became Vir’s biggest fans, and ended the night with dinner at China Gate. Months later, we called that outing our first date.

Have you sung a song for him? Or has he sung for you?

Farhan sang Who You Love by John Mayer and Katy Perry for me on my birthday. No one had ever sung for me before and it meant everything to me. All the music I’ve written in my albums has been inspired by Farhan.

Who said I love you first?

I don’t remember. But most likely it must’ve been me. I’m a fool. After being with Farhan, I realised that every other person I’ve said ‘I love you’ to before him, I wasn’t really in ‘love’ with. Love for me is… the deepest understanding of the other.

How many times in a day would you speak with each other?

Every moment I wasn’t occupied with something else would be spent chatting. I love texting, I am not much of a speakingover-a-call person. But Farhan is the opposite. He likes calls.

Who is the funnier one? Farhan is.

Who is the cleanliness freak? Farhan is!

Who is short tempered?

Farhan is. He likes things a certain way and can’t handle stupidity. He is quick to lose his temper.

Would you fight during your courtship? What were the fights about and who would say sorry first?

We fought a lot. Our fights were about trust issues. In hindsight, I’m really glad we had those in the beginning. We broke our heads over it and now we know each other so deeply, there’s next to nothing that can get in our way. I’m most often the one to say sorry. I don’t like the discomfort of a fight.

Who proposed marriage?

My best friend was married for more than three years and hadn’t registered her marriage yet. They said they had a lawyer who was going to do it for them. So ever so casually, we noted down the number of the lawyer too. Days later, we were watching television, when I asked Farhan if we should call the lawyer to ask about the procedure to get married. So Farhan called him and on that call pretty much everything got decided except the date of registration. So, there was no proposal. It was the most ordinary day and I wouldn’t change that for anything because it really is a clear reflection of our relationship. We’re both not for fancy big things.

Did you face any opposition when you were ready to marry?

None whatsoever. Besides, we didn’t give anyone a chance to oppose. We announced to our respective parents that we were getting married and they were elated.

How has your relationship changed from being girlfriend-boyfriend to husband-wife?

Marriage has made us feel more responsible for each other. My well-being affects him just as much as his affects me. I love the fact that I’m not only thinking about myself anymore.