New year, new love

Why not resolve to find love in the new year. Claire Sweetingham of elite matchmaker Gray & Farrar has tips for finding your soulmate

Don’t compromise. The key to finding the right, sustainable, and happy and healthy relationship means never having to compromise on the important things, such as values, moral compass and intellectual/ educational parity. It’s also vital to ensure that you both have the same goals in life, so be sure to have this conversation early in the relationship. Opposites most certainly do not attract in the long term.

Don’t leave it to fate. In this technological and consumer age, we all have incredibly busy, transatlantic lives, and during the very little free time we do have, we simply want to recharge our batteries and see those closest to us. Therefore, the right person is not going to come and knock on your door, so be proactive. Be yourself. I spend my entire life listening to why relationships fail and the recurring theme is that people are not being honest about all elements of their character; whether that’s a woman underplaying her accomplishments for “fear of scaring men off ” or a man being totally truthful about his feelings for fear of being viewed as “soft;” transparency is key and is the only foundation for a lasting relationship.

Be positive, impulsive and spontaneous. Life is an adventure, so grip it with both hands and be thankful for new experiences. If I had to nominate the biggest single thing that my clients tell me they don’t want, it’s to meet someone who is tired with life and who has lost their sparkle. It’s a cliché, but if you can focus on the positives in life as much as possible, you will be a magnet for other singletons.

Be open-minded about who you date. So what if he’s two inches shorter than you wanted, or she lives in Melbourne and not Singapore; these things are easily overcome when the chemistry is there and values are aligned. With the advent of internet dating, we have become all too used to an algorithmic approach to meeting someone and this is having a huge impact on how relationships are being formed. And not for the better. Falling in love is not a binary process and should not be treated as such.