LOSING A LOVED ONE
Four well-known NI faces talk movingly about their journeys through grief
The ITV documentary ‘Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy’ that Princes William and Harry made about losing their mother, the Princess of Wales, was fascinating on many levels — not least the fact that both young men clearly wanted to talk about their grief and how they had tried to come to terms with it.
Many of their observations and reflections will have resonated with others who have endured the pain of losing loved ones and are struggling to cope with their loss — such as their wish to have had their last conversation with her all over again so they could have said the things they wanted to say to her.
They also spoke about feeling her presence near them at crucial moments.
William was 15 when Diana died, Harry 12, and in the TV show aired on Monday night the pair spoke with unprecedented frankness about the impact her sudden death in a car crash in Paris 20 years ago had upon their young lives.
Indeed, reminiscent of their mother’s candour when it came to talking about mental health issues — such as bulimia and self-harming — William and Harry also spoke openly about their regrets and lingering sadness.
Perhaps most poignant of all was their revelation that they cut short what would turn out to be their last phone call with their mother because they were anxious to get back to playing with their cousins.
No matter that their mum would have understood their preoccupation with their young friends, they have pondered over the years what they might have said had they known they would never get the chance to speak to her again. “I have to deal with that for the rest of my life,” said Harry.
Two decades since the world mourned the untimely passing of the princess, in some ways it seems as if the princes have not found it possible to move on in their journey of grief. “It’s probably a bit too raw up to this point,” Harry said. “It’s still raw.”
He confessed that he had cried only twice since her death — once at her private burial on the Althorp estate and on another occasion since then. “There’s a lot of grief that still needs to be let out,” he admitted. “I was so young. I grew up sort of thinking that not having a mum was normal. I think it was a classic case of don’t let yourself think about your mum and the grief and the hurt that comes with it, because it’s never going to bring her back and it’s only going to make you more sad.”
One of the most remarkable revelations is the influence the late princess has upon her sons’ lives even today.
William said that his mother’s spirit is constantly at his side. “There are not many days that go by, I don’t think of her.
“I have a smile every now and again when someone says something, and I think, ‘that’s exactly what she would have said’, or, ‘she would have enjoyed that comment’. So they always live with you, people you lose, like that. And my mother lives with me every day. I give thanks that I was lucky enough to be her son and I got to know her for the 15 years that I did.”
William also revealed that he felt his mother’s presence at his wedding, and that he has spoken to his children, George and Charlotte, about Granny Diana. “She gave us the right tools and has prepared us well for life in the best way she could, not, obviously, knowing what was going to happen.”
Undoubtedly the princes’ words will have struck a chord with many, as our interviews with some of our best-loved personalities about how they coped with losing loved ones, reveals.