‘They never really leave you ... youcarrythemwithyoueveryday’
Noel Thompson (61), co-presenter on Radio Ulster’s Good Morning Ulster show, is married to Sharon, a yoga teacher. They live in Belfast and have two sons, Matthew (30) and Patrick (25). Noel lost his father in 1984 and his mum in 2015. He says:
It is one of the enduring sadnesses of my life that my father died before my two sons were born. He always said any grandchildren would be very spoilt and I know he would have been a great grandfather and a great teacher for my boys. They could have learnt so much from him.
Dad was 10 years older than mum and served in the RAF in Egypt for eight years. I was working on a story when I got the news he’d had a heart attack.
It was a big shock. Of course, there were a lot of tears at the time but I think, as the only one of four brothers who still lived in Northern Ireland, I coped by keeping busy and organising the funeral and looking after my mum.
I still miss my dad and think of him every day. That’s one thing I always tell people when someone passes away — they never really leave you as you carry them with you every day.
I think being the one brother left at home after he died probably influenced part of my decision to stay in Northern Ireland.
Dad died in November and Sharon and I were just back from travelling for eight months, so I am glad I was at home when it happened.
That Christmas was terrible, however, as we were all without him. It was a huge loss and very difficult. He was a very quiet, unassuming person, and family meant the world to him.
When mum died two years ago I had had a lot more time to prepare for it as she was battling cancer and we knew what was to come. She was so courageous and used to say ‘if it wasn’t for this cancer there’d be nothing wrong with me’.
Since dad passed away, she had lived a busy and active life but, as I said at her funeral, they were very much a couple and she loved him as much on the day she died as she did when he died. He was her world.
She was a strong matriarchal type and everyone in the family would go to her with their problems. When she took ill, Sharon and I spent a lot more time with her, taking her to and from appointments and visiting her in hospital.
In a way, when she died, a burden was lifted but it was bittersweet as it was a burden I was happy to carry.
Mum died in February so she had one final Christmas with all the family which she really enjoyed. Memories like that keep you going after someone has passed.
I know mum lived a happy and active life. Again, when she died, I coped by keeping busy. We had to sell the family home of 50 years and I mainly had the job of clearing it out. That’s when I did most of my letting go as I sorted through her things and memories.
In her later years, she had made a scrapbook photo album, one for each son, full of memories and notes. It was an amazing gift she gave us. It starts off with pictures of her mother and father and dad’s mother and father and there is space at the back for each of us to include our own families.
She was one special lady and I think about her and talk about her and dad all the time, so they are never far away from me.”