‘I feel robbed of the life me and Ann could have had’
Stanley McCombe reveals the agony of having to identify his wife after the atrocity, how he has survived two heart attacks in recent years, and why he won’t forgive those who planted bomb
ON August 15, 1998, Omagh man Stanley McCombe was in Scotland with his eldest son Clive. Members of a pipe band, they were performing in the World Piping Championship with several others from the town at exactly four minutes and 20 seconds past three o’clock, when the Real IRA bomb ripped through Omagh.
After the pipers left the stage news began to filter through that there had been an explosion back home and that people may have been killed.
The distraught father-of-two, now 71, tried frantically to find a phone to get through to Ann, his wife of 25 years.
She had gone to work as usual at Watterson’s Clothes Shop in the town centre that morning.
Miles from home and only able to get information from the radio, Stanley spent a torturous eight hours listening as the death toll rose, waiting for any word on his wife.
As the day progressed information started to filter through.
His youngest son Colan, who had been in town with friends, was safe. He was mistakenly told his sister Rosemary, a traffic warden who worked in Omagh, was dead.
At 11pm Stanley received the news that would shatter his family forever. Ann had died in the blast with 28 others, including a mother pregnant with twins.
It was Monday morning before he was able to formally identify Ann as she lay in a makeshift morgue in the local Army base.
He says the sight of his 48-year-old wife, always so meticulous about her appearance, hair and make-up, will stay with him until his dying day.
Q Going back to August 15, 1998, what are your memories of the day?
A On that Saturday my eldest son Clive and I were in Glasgow with the band for the World Piping Championships. We had played at 3pm that day. I had blisters on my arm from playing the bagpipes and I had gone to the first aid centre. There were a lot of people there from the Omagh area, in the band fraternity, and that is when someone told me there was a bomb in Omagh.
No one knew the extent of the bomb. It was the days before mobile phones. My son and a few of the others went to a bar in Glasgow and asked them if they could use the telephone to call home. The barman was actually from Strabane.
They couldn’t get through to anyone in Omagh, all the lines were down. Back at the hotel we tried everything to get information. No one knew anything.
No one could find Ann. And Ann McCombe was the type of person that, had she been conscious, she would have been trying everything in her power to reach us and tell us that she was OK. That was the kind of her.
I had a really bad feeling all night. I feared the worst. It was awful being far away and not being able to look for her or help. I felt so utterly helpless. At about 11pm that night Ann was identified by our minister, the Rev Ian Myers. I can’t even remember the conversation. A feeling came over me that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I was numb. My head was going round. I didn’t know what I was doing or why. Everything was going through my mind. It was awful. Q You faced utter devastation within your own family and in the community. What was the scene that awaited you when you came home? A It was a terrible journey home. So many people wanted to talk to me on the ferry on the way back. I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I just wanted to sit by myself and smoke. I wanted to be left alone. Coming into the town was the eeriest feeling I have ever felt.
It was so quiet, there were no cars on the road, there were no birds, no dogs barking. No nothing. It was just dead calm. There was a smell of death.
All the bodies were in a mortuary in the Army camp. I had to go to the leisure centre and be escorted to the camp to identify Ann. She had been standing beside the car when a 500lb bomb went off. That was an awful sight. I will never ever get over that. As long as I’m alive I will be able to still see her.
That was never her. When you saw my wife in all the little grandeur that she had, she was always perfectly made up, always kept herself so well. Her hair was always beautiful and her make-up perfect. We were married for 25 years and had two sons together. To see her in the state that she was in was just soul-destroying.
❝ Identifying Ann was an awful sight... I will never, ever get over that. As long as I’m alive I will be able to still see her
Q When someone is taken from you in such a cruel manner, how do you cope? A It is hard to cope. You learn to live with it. That is why we got into the Omagh Support and Self Help Group. We decided we wanted to fight for justice for these people we loved who were brutally murdered in our town. That was one of the things that kept me half sane. I owed that to Ann. Q Did the events of that day and the darkness that followed have a detrimental impact on your own health?
A I have survived two heart attacks. I actually died with the last one and was brought back. I survived for a reason and that reason is that I’m fighting for justice for Ann. That is the only way I can deal with it. It never leaves you.
No matter where you are it never leaves you. You keep it to yourself. It’s definitely not easy. I had two boys to look after and they are still with me because they are looking after me.
There are times I feel guilty that they haven’t been able to move on in life because of me and what happened.
Had Ann still been here, things might have been different. I don’t know.
Q Did your loss make you question your faith?
A Ann had a fantastic faith and she was a great woman for the church. I’d have been slightly different. It did make me question my faith. I’m not blaming God or the church, but here was a person, a very good person, that was taken away just like that. Maybe there was a reason for it. I don’t know. Q Will you ever give up fighting for justice for your wife? A We have to know the truth about Omagh. Every other family deserves the truth as well. But I can only fight for my wife. I know had it been the other way around, Ann would have fought for me.
People just can’t do these things and walk away. People can’t turn their back and say that it couldn’t be helped. There is nothing in this world that can’t be prevented. And that is my fight.
That is what gets me through. The fight has kept me going. If the British and Irish Governments think we are daft, they have another thing coming. I will continue to fight. If anything does happen to me, my two sons will continue to fight for their mother. Q Do you feel let down by the British and Irish Governments? A Both governments are terrible. They have let us down. There are people who say that they have done the same to them. I know they have, but I can’t fight their battle. I wish them every good luck in what they are trying to get. When we were raised we were always taught to tell the truth and own up to something if you did wrong.
We wouldn’t have fought for 20 years if we didn’t have a good reason to fight. The governments promised a lot of things and gave us nothing.
❝ I will continue to fight. If anything does happen to me, then my two sons will continue to fight for their mother
Q Twenty years after your loss, has the pain lessened in any way for you?
A I think as you get older things get harder. I feel very sore this year. It’s hard. It just seems so difficult to cope with. It really hurts inside. You are fine and dandy and out and about, but when your health is not good you start to think stupid things in your head. That one person is not there to look after you, or indeed to be looked after.
I feel robbed. I think of the life that we could have had together but we didn’t. We had 25 years, and now 20 years are gone.
If Ann had have been ill through some terrible disease I could have accepted it. But for a person to be so full of life and so healthy to be taken...
Q Do you think you could ever forgive the people who destroyed your life? If they could read your words, what would you say to them? A There is so much hate and anger within me. I know that it is a terrible thing to hate anyone. I never in my life hated anyone, but the vermin who carried that out, I hate them. No one knows how much I hate them. And it’s not up to me to forgive them.
God is the only one who can forgive them. I never will. They came in to murder people. If you bring a 500lb bomb anywhere you are going to murder.
What I would say to them is that they might walk free around this world. We are led to believe that there is another world that you have to face your maker.
I can walk around knowing that I haven’t done any harm to anyone.
When you look in the mirror in the morning and you say to yourself, “I’m a murderer”, can I live with that? I don’t think they can. These people, I think they put a brave face on, but deep down, someday someone is going to explode and tell everything. I do get angry. There are people out there who do know who these people are.
Q How will you and your family mark the 20th anniversary?
A We will just go to Ann’s grave. We keep out of the limelight. It’s our day, myself and my two sons. We will probably get out of the town that day and spend the day by ourselves. We don’t want to be in town at all.