THE MUMS FACING DILEMMA OF GOING BACK TO WORK OR STAYING AT HOME WITH KIDS
Tennis player Serena Williams has revealed her feelings of guilt about combining her busy training schedule with caring for baby daughter Olympia. Karen Ireland talks to two women about how they decided to go back to the world of work or stay with their c
‘I felt guilty, but this is the right move for both me and my family’ Denise McMahon (38), a marketing manager, lives in Banbridge with husband Donal (38), a sales executive, and their two children, Rory (4) and two-year-old Holly. Denise says:
Deciding to go back to work is a very difficult and emotional decision for a mum, and every mum is different.
When I was pregnant with Holly, I was a senior manager at a bank and had a really good job, but when redundancies came up, I decided it would be a good time to take a career break and be at home with the children.
I stayed at home for two years after Holly was born. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t all rosy. Having a young toddler and a baby with you constantly is hard work, but I loved my time with them when they were so young.
I decided to use the time I had off to gain extra qualifications, and I did a diploma in digital marketing.
However, I missed work. I have always loved working. I’d had a good career and I wanted to go back to work.
The decision was an emotional one because I had a lot of guilt about leaving the children, and I wondered if they’d be all right in childcare.
Donal was completely supportive of me — he knew it had to be my decision and I had to do what made me happy.
In the end, I went back to work. I missed having work colleagues and using my brain and skillset.
I was very fortunate to get a job in Zen Orthodontics and Rejuvenation Clinic in Newry, which was close to home.
When I started the job, my colleagues where all very supportive of me and helped me settle in.
Those first few months going back to work were a huge adjustment for everyone.
It took Holly a while to settle into nursery, so I worried about her and felt guilty.
My colleagues probably thought I was obsessed with the children because that was all I talked about, but after a few months, everyone settled down and we got into a good routine.
Rory is starting school now and I’m going to work mornings — I can be there to drop him off and pick him up, which is great. We have a good mix of childcare because my mum helps, the kids are in childcare and then I work part-time, so I’m at home the other days.
I chose a career change — something closer to home, more flexible hours and not as stressful as my job in the bank, but I love it.
I love being back at work and getting out and about and meeting and interacting with people. I think I’m a better mum because I work.
I make the best of the time I have with the children — it’s quality time.
I love coming home at the end of the day to loads of cuddles and smiles from the children. They miss me and I miss them.
I think when I was with them all the time I maybe didn’t appreciate them enough.
Now I make my days off and weekends count by spending special quality time with the children.
Every mum is different, and everyone has to do what is right for them. For me, it was about getting back into my career and being a working mum.
Yes, you still feel guilty, but this is 100% the right decision for me and my family.
I feel I have the right amount of balance between home and work life now, and everyone benefits from that.”
‘There’s no shame in admitting that you need to ask for help’ Sheena Dick (32), from Belfast, is married to Matthew, a brewer, and they have three children, Caleb (6), Micah (2) and eight-month-old Abbie. Sheena says:
Before I had my first child, I worked fulltime as a fundraiser for a charity. I loved my work and went back fulltime after Caleb was born.
I never saw myself as a stay-at-home mum, but after I had Caleb and our family grew, that became the main goal for my husband and me.
I was surprised by my feelings because I loved work and having colleagues and adult time. When Micah was born, I went back to work part-time, but after I had Abbie, we decided it was just time to go for it and be at home with the children.
Matthew was very supportive of my decision. He did worry at the start about what our finances would look like with just one wage, but with three children all my salary was being eaten up by childcare, so it made sense for me to stay at home.
Matthew didn’t really have a preference as to what I did, but he runs his own business, Boundary Brewery, and if I was at home it would mean he could concentrate more on his growing business.
While I enjoyed work, I felt guilty all the time about what I was missing out on with the children — I wanted to be there for them.
Drop-offs and pick-ups were especially hard on them and me. I hated leaving them in the mornings and they had stored up all these feelings of missing me during the day.
In the end it wasn’t a huge decision — it was just one which