Billy Weir’s deadly dozen marksmen... and where Joe ‘The Goal’ Gormley finishes on the hit-list
AS I write this piece Joe Gormley is now sitting on 174 goals for Cliftonville Football Club. He surpassed Kevin McGarry’s long-lasting record in Friday night’s 3-2 defeat in the north Belfast derby and then added two more in Tuesday’s win by the same scoreline over Carrick Rangers in the Bet McLean League Cup.
It prompted a lot of debate online as to whether Joe the Goal is the best we have seen, so, never one to knowingly be dragged onto a bandwagon, it got me thinking.
Opinions, as we know, are like belly buttons, everyone has one, and are dependent on your age, and with the best will in the world I can’t, hand on heart, or belly button, say that Joe Bambrick was a belting player.
For the same reason I am not qualified to talk of the undoubted goalscoring talents of Jimmy Jones, Sammy Hughes or Dessie Dickson, so in my top 12, yes, we go up to 12, one more than Spinal Tap, I have ruled out anyone I didn’t actually see put the ball in the net.
I thought it would be easy. Roughly speaking we’re dealing with the past 40 years and once you get thinking, we have been very blessed with some fabulous players.
The late, great Ron Manley, Michael Halliday, Marty Magee, Gary Hamilton, Stephen Baxter, Stevie McBride, Sandy Fraser, Gerry Mullan, Gary Blackledge, Liam Boyce, Chris Scannell, Gary Twigg, Rory Patterson, Darren Erskine, Kieron Tourish, Harry McCourt, M ark Cauthen, Geoff Ferris, Jody Tolan, Garry Haylock and Chris Scannell — all miss the target in this countdown.
And I have also left off the sky-blue tinted specs for this one, otherwise the list would gave Dessie Loughery, Paul Hardy, Johnny Speak, Sammy McQuiston, Neil Candlish and Paul Malone in there. So here we go. I wonder where Joe Gormley (right) finishes up?
12: Glenn Hunter: Perhaps overlooked by many but before Jordan Owens he was the man at Seaview, with 157 goals in 296 appearances in Roy Walker’s championship teams of the mid-nineties. Went on to do what he did best for Ballymena United and Lisburn Distillery and finished with 300+ goals in his career.
11. Chris Morgan: Christmas, Twelfth, Pancake, Doris, Morgan — what do they all have in common? Yes, that’s right, a Day named after them. Let go by his boyhood favourites, Linfield, he came back to haunt them on April 23, 2005, a date etched in the hearts of all Glentoran fans. Formed a fabulous partnership with Michael Halliday and won the title at the Crues and Blues as well, his goalscoring wares also being displayed with aplomb at Dungannon Swifts and Newry City.
10. Ollie Ralph (Newry Town): I noticed last week that Newry City were holding an Eighties Night for club funds. Having watched them draw a blank, how they would have loved to have got that Flux Capacitor cranked up and set that DeLorean off to bring back Ollie Ralph. Scored goals for fun, ably assisted by Marty Magee, finally registering 305 goals for the club. 9. Gary McCutcheon: An unusual player in that he was a hero at all the clubs he served with distinction in his Irish League career. Starting off at Larne, the Stranraer man moved on to Portadown where he couldn’t stop scoring and was sensational when he moved on for the first of two spells at Ballymena, with a time at the Crues in between.
8. Stevie Cowan (Portadown): You have to wonder just how good he could have been with two working knees and the ability to run. Alongside Sandy Fraser, the tartan talismen terrorised defences, Cowan helping the Ports to the title and a league and cup double during his relatively brief spell in Northern Ireland. With 66 goals in 87 appearances, he’ll always be a legend at Shamrock Park.
7. Gary McCartney (Glentoran):
Had to put G-Force in at No.7 really after his exploits for the Glens in that 1989/90 season when the men from the east beat the Blues seven times. He scored nine goals against Linfield that season, to boost his tally of 193 in 303 games for the Glens. Oh, and he also started when he was 26 having scored an equally mind-boggling number of goals for the RUC.
6. Jordan Owens (Crusaders): With all the talk of Joe Gormley over the past few weeks, it was fitting that the big man spoke for himself with the winner in the north Belfast derby, his 206th goal for the club. On his day he is simply unplayable, a proper, old-fashioned centre forward who just loves scoring.
5. Peter Thompson (Linfield): You know you’ve made it when you get a nickname and Pistol Pete certainly knew how to shoot. 230 goals in 417 appearances, he bagged 48 in the ‘clean sweep’ season and alongside Glenn Ferguson was unstoppable. You wonder just how many he would have had but for a spell at Stockport and injury bringing his career to a premature end.
4. Martin McGaughey (Linfield): ‘Buckets’ was a man who caused me many a tearful childhood Saturday as he always seemed to score against Ballymena. In fairness, he scored 313 times in 482 appearances, including a ridiculous 56 in one season and all this with a moustache that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a spaghetti western. Hair-raising stuff.
3. Joe Gormley (Cliftonville): At last, I hear you cry. Why only No.3? Well, he only has 174 goals (hold on, it might be more by now) but if he plays on for another 10 years, and injuries permitting, there’s no reason why he couldn’t, then he could be breaking all sorts of records. Peterborough must have had some strikers if he couldn’t make the breakthrough but their loss is the gain for anyone who loves football in this part of the world. Apart from Crues’ fans, maybe.
2. Vinny Arkins (Portadown): Ronnie McFall paid just £10,000 for Vinny Arkins. To say he paid him back handsomely is quite an under-statement, 248 goals in 404 appearances, top scorer in the league in five of his eight seasons, and all this in a team that wasn’t always fighting at the top.
1. Glenn Ferguson (Linfield): The daddy of them all. A star at Ards and Glenavon, eyes were raised when he was signed for £55,000 by David Jeffrey — but what a snip that proved to be. His stats are simply obscene, with 1000+ games, 30-odd winners’ medals and 562 goals, and all this while refereeing every game he played in too! The word legend is over-used but Spike is that and more, the best there has been in my generation and he has set a record that will never be surpassed. Unless Joe gets a move on…