Arthritis sufferer Donna tells of struggle to find love
A BELFAST woman has revealed the devastating impact of arthritis as it emerged the condition has led to a relationship breakdown for one in five people.
Getting dressed, social events and even using a knife and fork can be impossible at times for 49-year-old Donna Roberts.
Her home in the east of the city has also been kitted out with equipment such as grab rails and a specialist toilet seat to help her cope with the debilitating condition.
As well as suffering from crippling pain, civil servant Donna has overwhelming fatigue that makes it difficult for her to spend time with friends and meet prospective partners.
She explained: “I’ve had psoriasis since I was a child but then when I was in my 30s I started to suffer from aches and pains.
“At the time my aunt was unwell and I just put it down to the
stress of that but after she died I went to the GP and they started to do tests.
“I know this might sound dramatic, but I started to think I must be dying because I felt so bad.”
After tests in 2002 Donna was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis.
She was prescribed a chemotherapy drug to help manage her symptoms.
“The side-effects of the drug are rough but it did help for the first few years,” she added.
“When I have a flare-up, it can be really hard. It’s not that I can’t walk but I explain it to people that it feels like the day after you’ve ran a marathon.
“Even going to a restaurant, cutting a steak, is incredibly sore, or lifting a heavy glass to my mouth is impossible.
“I have to try and manage my condition, not let it manage me, and I have to make sure I’m really proactive when it comes to self-care.
“That means if I am invited to a wedding I miss the meal but I might go along to the evening do for an hour.
“Or if I am invited to one of my nephews’ or nieces’ birthday parties I would maybe leave a present down the day before.
“I can’t push myself too hard otherwise I end up in agony.
“When I first had all the equipment put into my house I felt like I was an old woman, but then I realised that it’s necessary if I want to try and get on with my life.”
Donna was speaking as charity Versus Arthritis revealed that a third of people with the condition said their relationship became strained because of arthritis.
Nearly one in five of people said their condition has led to a relationship breakdown, while 41% said their sex lives suffered as a result of the pain and fatigue that comes with arthritis.
Donna added that while previous partners have all been understanding about her condition, she does find it difficult to get out and meet people now that she is single.
However, she said she is determined that arthritis will not rule her life.
The Versus Arthritis report has uncovered the extent of the impact of arthritis on millions of sufferers across the UK, with the pain making it hard to be spontaneous or physically intimate.