Dad’s plea to people with mental health issues after son takes life

Deborah May: Paul was far from your ‘average’ personal trainer. He meant a lot to my family, because of the huge impact he had on our son’s recovery from years of severe mental illness. But our loss is nothing compared to that of his partner, little son, parents and brothers and sister. Thinking of every one of them. We don’t just need people to talk, we need those responsible for our mental health services to take appropriate action.

Phil Oggie: A lovely family and a sad loss.

Deborah May: I know they are all very proud of Paul, and so they should be. I am so very thankful that we got to have him in our lives. My family will never forget what he did for us — and I know we’re not alone in that.

Stacey-Leigh Hill: So very true. I find that, if you are working hard at helping yourself, are holding down a job and doing day-to-day things, the services feel you mustn’t be that severe. I’ve had it myself. But even those who are talking and working their hardest to help themselves and lead a normal life still need as much intervention and support as those who have succumbed to illness, who are incapable of doing such things.

Ash Flanagan: It’s not that we stop caring for others; it’s that the voices in our heads make us feel that they’re better off from our burden.

Stephen Moore: Ash Flanagan, also you’ll get folk who will push those they love away, or deliberately hurt them, in the belief that, if they do then decide to kill themselves, it’ll hurt their loved ones less, as they’ve already distanced themselves from them. Mental health issues are so complex.

Ann Kummel: Heartbreaking. So sorry for his family and friends. But what an important post to share. I’m sure he would be proud of you. It may just save someone’s life.

Margo Martin: Absolutely heartbreaking. I can’t begin to imagine what his family are going through. My deepest condolences.

Geraldine Coll: My heart and soul go out to you. The pain doesn’t go away. I’m sorry for your loss. We just have to hold the memories close.