Why choice of mediocre imports over Irish talent has to stop
AFTER the events in Twickenham last Saturday, I thought to myself, ‘Jeez, I could play in my fourth World Cup here. A little bit of Hollywood magic and I could get there’.
So I borrowed Michael J Fox’s DeLorean and transported myself back in time to when I was 25 and presented myself for selection to the Irish squad in Carton House.
Joe Schmidt interviewed me and asked me what I could do for the team.
Seeing as I was primarily a line-out ball winner, there was no real requirement for one of those anymore.
Skill, timing, ability in the air, athleticism and the gift of being able to beat your opponent to the jump — all that is gone.
Sure, they can throw openside flankers into the air and make them look like Michael Jordan. Air Shane Jennings.
It’s all very simple now — systems, pods, lateral timing, synchronised movement, hoist your man into the air where their jumpers aren’t and a conveyor belt of quality ball will follow.
It’s so simple that you should win practically 100 per cent of your ball all of the time. I couldn’t possibly add any value here.
No point in suggesting anything new here or a common-sense policy, the team have line-outs sussed at the moment.
I would have to change tack in the interview if I am to get selected.
“I am an enforcer, Joe.” “A Dirty Harry, are you feeling lucky today punk kind of enforcer?” asked the headmaster.
“Yeah, I am a big unit and anyone messes with me or my team-mates, then, you know, I enforce things.”
“There are 27 TV cameras at a Test match these days, Neil. You can’t even shape to throw a punch. Anyway, we have an enforcer already.”
“Yes, I saw Jean Kleyn do lots of enforcing last Saturday.
I’m not sure if his English opponents got around to appreciating the South African’s enforcement or anybody else for that matter.”
I watched the business end of the domestic season with interest back in April and May.
Munster’s loss to Leinster (24-9) in the PRO14 semi-final, Munster’s defeat to Sarries in the Champions Cup semi-final (32-16), and Munster’s PRO14 quarter-final (15-13) ‘win’ over Treviso at Thomond.
The whole island knew Kleyn would become eligible to play for Ireland during the summer — how about some credible performances to rubber-stamp the credentials?
In that Benetton game, I saw Marco Lazzaroni and Federico Ruzza — not even mapped for Italy, but the second-choice locks for Treviso — rule the roost that day. The question you had to ask was not whether the South African was Test standard but whether he was PRO14 standard.
When Munster got to the knockout stages last season, they needed big performances — especially from their pack. Kleyn was nowhere to be seen. He now inexplicably holds two Irish caps.
In Test rugby, power is at a premium. Kleyn was much bigger than Maro Itoje but the difference in quality of contribution was astonishing. Size is of very little value unless it is underpinned with industry — talent and ability are, I guess, important too.
Enforcement? I looked at South Africa’s squad announcement during the week. Our likely quarter-final opponents in the Rugby World Cup had Eben Etzebeth, Franco Mostert, Pieter Steph du Toit, Lood de Jager and RG Snyman.
All five are genuine powerhouses and all have made significant contributions to South Africa’s Rugby Championship win this season.
In that draw against the All Blacks in Wellington when Snyman came on in the last quarter, he hit Brodie Retallick so hard at one ruck (legally) that the All Black lock dislocated his shoulder while falling out of the ruck.
That’s enforcement! Retallick could never be described as a patsy.
If Kleyn was still playing in his native South Africa, would he be mapped in the top 20 second-rows in the country? Yet he is fast-tracked for no obvious