LEFT TO DEAL WITH TRAUMA FROM THE TROUBLES
Five extracts from Gladys Ganiel’s moving book, Considering Grace: Presbyterians and the Troubles
THE SERIOUSLY INJURED RUC
MAN — ‘If you forgive, ministers will nearly give you
a clap on the back... but there’s no forgiveness in me’
Samuel Malcolmson, a police officer, was seriously injured in an IRA gun attack. He knows who shot him, but he was never prosecuted.
“On the second day down at the hospital, my mother dropped dead at my bedside. She was 48 years of age. I’ve often wanted to say to him: ‘When you shot us, did you feel any remorse when you realised my mum dropped dead at my bedside, or did you feel great? I got two for the price of one.’” Samuel was in hospital for a year and his family’s minister brought his father to visit. “But ministers since then, they think, ‘I don’t need to do anything’.”
His wife Gayus recalled: “I went to church on Sundays and I took the children to church.
“But I can honestly say that the minister, nobody from the church, ever asked how we coped, or offered help.”
Samuel added: “At the same time, some congregations in the Presbyterian Church did stand by us, and helped us financially.
“This is a problem I have with church: ministers will come and, if you forgive (the perpetrator), you nearly get a clap on the back: ‘Good, you’ve moved on.’ I have moved on, but no way will I ever forgive. If he wants forgiveness, let him come and ask me. There’s no forgiveness in me, but it doesn’t stop me from moving on.” Samuel could not work again because of his injuries. He joined a group for wounded police. Some churches have hosted this group for special services or talks.
He recalled speaking in one church and explaining how members of the security forces were “living a lie” by instructing their children to conceal their parents’ occupations.
“The minister in that particular congregation interrupted me. He said: ‘You need to explain more.’ I just happened to look round and five or six people stood up and there were two or three police officers, a prison officer and a UDR man. I looked round at the Rev, indicating that these people maybe want to say something. Each of those people said: ‘He is right, we’re living a lie.’ That minister apologised to me and said: ‘Sorry, I’m out of touch.’ He didn’t even realise members of his own congregation had to live a lie and security force people are still living that lie.”
Gayus recalled that while there were prayers in their congregation for people who were injured: “There was never any in-depth consideration of why things were happening.” She had questions that have not been answered. “How do bad things happen if God has a plan? There was no explanation from a minister or anybody as to why (atrocities) were allowed to happen. I believe in Christian beliefs and Christian ideals, but I couldn’t honestly say I believe God has a plan.”
Samuel and Gayus thought PCI had been “silent” about victims. They were hurt when Rev. David Latimer from First Derry Presbyterian publicly befriended Sinn Fein’s Martin McGuinness, speaking at a Sinn Fein Ard Fheis in 2011 and at McGuinness’ funeral in 2017. McGuinness had been an IRA member in Londonderry.
Samuel said: “You don’t win any support among victims by getting up there and saying Martin McGuinness was a saint, or words to that effect.
“If Latimer realised just how damaging that performance on television was to victims, I think he would hang his head in shame. Those that gave their lives and suffered were the real peacemakers.”