If we want to keep our children safe online, common sense is worth a lifetime of hand-wringing
There’s a scene in the Emmy award-winning American animated sitcom Family Guy, where the dad, Peter, is walking along the footpath, peering into his mobile phone, entirely oblivious to his surroundings. “What’s that?” he says. “Sorry, I was too busy taking a selfie while shooting a Snapchat while Periscoping that Snapchat while Instagramming latte art while Shazaming The Weekend while streaming Master of None while retweeting George Takei while saying, ‘This wins the internet!’ while still being #sooobored.”
An extreme example of being absorbed in a mobile phone? Perhaps. But, as often with comedy, the writers are making a serious point.
I got my first mobile phone when I was in my early 20s. It held exactly 30 contacts, which was fine, because I didn’t even know 30 people then who had mobile phones.
Fast-forward less than 20 years and phones have been transformed into multi-purpose vehicles of entertainment, communication and stimulation.
I take the tram to work every morning and home again every evening. I’m frequently both amused and baffled by the lengths people go to in pursuit of a life of constant stimulation.
Just last week, I witnessed a woman balancing a Kindle in one hand, apparently reading a book, while endlessly scrolling through Facebook with the other hand. She was also wearing headphones, presumably plugged into yet another device inside her jacket.
How do people like my wired friend sleep after a day like that, I wonder. But it’s a common sight and, more often than not, they are middle-aged people. A friend who owns a restaurant told me recently that a frequent question from diners used to be to ask where the bathroom was; now, it’s normal for a few adults from the same table to ask if he can charge their phones.
The appalling murder of Ana Kriegel and the role that internet pornography played in the crime, and social media in her bullying, has raised questions about teenagers and mobile phones.
The consensus seems to be that it is impossible to stop 13-year-olds having phones that connect to the worldwide web, and the best we can hope for is that they will feel able to talk to adults about disturbing content. The argument goes that, if there are to be limits, it is for the Government and big tech companies to restrict access to pornography.
Parents who tell their children to do their homework, when to go to bed, what to eat and who to be friends with seem entirely hamstrung when it comes to saying “no” to a smartphone in favour of a simpler model capable only of making and receiving calls.
Having 24/7 access to the internet is not a human right; it’s certainly not a right for an impressionable 13-year-old.
I wonder if part of the issue is that parents, who are themselves constantly plugged in to a variety of devices, find it impossible to imagine life without such access and, therefore, feel anything short of this for their children is neglect.
If so, they need to wise up. No one wants, or expects, children and young teenagers to live in a vacuum.
But this is a long way from handing them a device with seemingly limitless prospects and the ability for anyone to contact them with intentions nefarious or otherwise.
A family I know have given their 13-year-old son an old-fashioned Nokia phone that can make and receive calls and texts. There is a family computer at home in easy view of his parents without snooping.
If he needs to look things up on the internet, it is there. He is not isolated from his friends and, while he is not on Instagram or Snapchat, he lives a perfectly happy life.
Not everyone will feel able to make choices like that, but parents who can free themselves from their own near-addiction to being constantly connected will find it easier to limit screen time and simply say “no” to smartphones for children who are too young.
Simple parenting will do more to protect our children than a lifetime of handwringing.