Being isolated is very tough, especially at Christmas: here’s how we have learned to deal with it
‘Illness left me unable to leave the house but joining classes and getting active has changed my life’
KATE Roddy (86) lives in Belfast. After suffering from pneumonia three years ago, the grandmother-of-six experienced several months of isolation before finding solace and a new enthusiasm for her life through involvement with everything from writing and watching films to learning how to use the internet and doing Tai chi — all through the charity Engage with Age. She says:
For a time a few years ago I wasn’t really functioning. I had been very unwell with pneumonia, and was ill for probably more than a year. But even when I recovered it had hit me very badly and I really didn’t feel like myself.
I had become quite isolated, and by the time I was physically better I could barely bring myself to leave the house.
My children were very good and they tried their best but I think at a certain point I had come to feel quite useless. To myself, to my family and to society as a whole, really, and having been quite a useful person all my life that was a hard pill to swallow.
But it was something I’d done to myself. I’d thrown myself on the refuge heap.
My daughter called Age Concern for some advice, and before long I was going to groups through Engage with Age. They told me about going to see films at Strandtown cinema, and that was a wonderful way to get me out of the house initially.
It didn’t feel like too much, and I absolutely adore film. My father had worked at film houses years ago and I used to go regularly as a child.
After a while, I started going to a writing class, something I’d never considered in my life, but it turned out to be a lovely way to get to know people because it was a way for us all to share stories about our lives. I’ve been to tech classes too, and learned all about how to use my mobile and tablet, and learning about the internet was great because it was something I hadn’t done before.
But best of all has been Tai chi. I used to be quite active as a younger woman, playing golf, and I used to play bridge twice a week, too, but that had all stopped.
Through Tai chi I’m now walking again after suffering with arthritis, and we had a fantastic Christmas party there at the Chinese restaurant where we had a wonderful time.
The class started out with five people, and there are 21 of us now, all with different backgrounds and different outlooks.
We give to each other and that really rewards each of us enormously.
I used to be an art teacher, and that
along with designing and making dresses was how I spent my life. I lost my husband 31 years ago, and with five children I was really busy for such a long time.
It might sound strange but all these things I’m doing now are for my own enjoyment and to keep myself active. I’ve seen a Japanese proverb recently that I love — ‘Only by being active will you want to live to 100 years’.
I’m learning new things and surrounding myself with such interesting new people, doing things I’ve never done in all my years.
When I was a young woman, 60 was old — but that’s young now. You still have a long life ahead of you at that point, and I’ve realised now there’s a lot of life left to live, a lot left to look forward to.
I’d say for anyone feeling isolated like
I did, or for their families, seek out these groups because they can really change lives. Each of them is so uplifting, and everyone leaves with smiles on their faces.
I downsized from our old family home a few years ago, and after being at the centre of the family for so much of my life, I felt I wasn’t up to having all of the family at my new, smaller house. I didn’t even consider it to be much of a home at all.
But this year Christmas will be lovely. I have the confidence back that I’d lost, I’ve already had a night out with my friends, I’m going with two of my sons for Christmas with my niece and I feel that my house is my home again — with me at the heart of it.”
For more information about Engage with Age, visit www.engagewithage.org.uk