Why there’s more to life here than green and orange

Afew years ago I was in the US, having breakfast in your typical American diner. The waitress got chatting. She’d noted my accent. She was Irish too, she told me proudly. Now anyone who knows anything about Irish America will know that “Irish” over there is a fairly elastic description. It can denote somebody born and raised in Kerry.

Equally it can refer to someone whose second cousin once removed knew a girl whose granny got a postcard from a neighbour who’d been to Galway in the 1950s.

Maybe I’m being a bit unkind. But the waitress fell into the second category.

The waiting job was a parttime one she told me. She also worked in an office and another “Irish” girl there (this one actually came from Dublin) had been spreading misinformation about Irish culture.

Such as?

The other girl had been telling her American co-workers that Irish people in Ireland don’t actually wear green all day every day.

You don’t seriously believe that they do, I asked the waitress. There was a moment of icy silence. She slammed down my plate, turned on her heel and that was the end of that cultural exchange.

I was thinking of her this week as I watched coverage of Kate, Duchess of Cambridge on official tour of the Republic in her 40-shades-of-green wardrobe.

There was the evening gown as plasticky green as AstroTurf, the day dress in a shade of what could best be described as pool table baize, the forest green coat, the green polka dot dress (above), the green clutch bag, the green suede shoes and then, to top it all, the shamrock pendant.

The thinking behind this presumably is that Kate is paying tribute to her hosts by saluting the national colour.

But is it not just a wee bit over the top? And, worse, patronising?

The Republic of Ireland is a sophisticated, modern nation. Kate and William were there this week representing the British Government and the British people, cementing ties between the UK and the South, recognising an often difficult, shared past but looking forward, post-contentious-Brexit, to a future of friendship and neighbourly exchange.

Isn’t it time then to move on from this twee Emerald Isle stuff where every official visit is coated (in this case literally) in green and the pulling of a pint of Guinness is the compulsory photocall (other brewers must be green with envy)?

It’s the message that’s important, not the colour...

Which brings us to this week’s latest row about nothing in Northern Ireland.

The MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Society has felt forced to apologise for a tweet in which they had encouraged supporters to join in a fundraising walk in September with the words: “Let’s turn the streets of Belfast orange.”

Orange is the MS Society’s brand colour. It was an utterly innocuous and inoffensive remark.

But this is Northern Ireland and there’s always somebody to take offence.

In this instance the offendees (I’m assuming there was more than one) complained that this could be interpreted as an endorsement of Orange Order marches.

No, it couldn’t. It was absolutely clear that the MS Society was referring to its own fundraiser. Trying to suggest otherwise is just twisted.

What makes this all the more shameful is that what this came down to a handful of saddos trying to score sectarian points at the expense of a charity which does such invaluable work for people right across the community.

“It was an honest mistake,” tweeted some people patronisingly. No, it wasn’t. Because it wasn’t a mistake in the first place. There was no need for an apology.

It’s offensive that a charity was placed in such an awkward position that they felt they had to.

Green, orange. All of us understand the symbolism, the potency of those colours in our history.

But they are just colours.

We could all do with toning their significance down a bit.