How young carers are bearing the burden of lockdown
Young people who look after a loved one have experienced an increased workload and anxiety during Covid-19 restrictions, according to research by the Carers Trust.
‘I’ve been boxed, kicked and not been able to study’
Finn Lynch (15) from Kesh, Co Fermanagh, is a carer for his brother Frank (10), who has ADHD and dyslexia and is on the autistic spectrum. He lives with his mum Sharon (44) and dad Darren (43), who works in the roads industry.
Frank normally goes to a special needs school, but his family say he is struggling to manage his behaviour due to the restrictions of lockdown.
“He would have very, very high levels of anger at the moment, due to lockdown,” mum Sharon says.
“About a week into lockdown, he was starting to get more and more agitated. You tried to explain to him about self distancing and not being able to go out and he just didn’t really get it.
“Finn tried to explain to him what was going to happen and it was just very, very stressful because he takes his anger out on everybody.
“He would hit Finn, or hit himself or hit whoever is just in the firing line.
“The windows have been put through and I’ve basically no doors in the house because he’s kicked the doors.
“We’ve had to get the walls replastered and we’re just waiting on a man to come and fix his bedroom window at the moment. He just breaks everything that he can think of.”
Although Frank is on medication, he is due to be re-tested and to have his medication reviewed — but everything is on hold due to lockdown.
Sharon says it’s hard on Finn at the moment because Frank has broken many of his belongings, including his TV and Playstation.
“Frank just has really bad anger problems and I know there’s going to be a certain amount of rivalry among siblings anyway, but it’s just like Finn’s afraid because if Frank can get hold of a sharp object he wouldn’t think twice about throwing it at you,” she says.
“I just think to myself, where’s it going to end — because there’s not really any help out there at the moment.”
The situation is exacting a toll on Finn’s mental health, his mum says.
“Finn would have been very outgoing. He likes drama and he likes art and stuff but just due to how the situation is, his confidence has been crushed,” she says.
While the family gets four hours’ respite care a week, it is not enough to allow Finn to catch up on his schoolwork. He is due to sit GCSES, but can’t keep up with the work due to Frank’s constant interruptions and the loss of digital devices that have been broken.
“It’s really bad because he has no computer and there are no libraries open,” Sharon says. “Finn really needs a laptop and we’re trying to get the money together for that, but how long it will last I don’t know, because Frank keeps breaking everything.”
Finn says his younger brother can be hyper.
“He goes through different kinds of moods,” he says. “He can be all right one minute and then just flip the switch.
“I try to calm him down and try to keep him away from mum and dad when he’s having a meltdown, but it’s hard.”
Finn tries to work with Frank but says his brother will often push him away.
“I’ve been stabbed I don’t know how many times — not seriously, but like he’s clipped me. I’ve been boxed, I’ve been kicked, I had a TV broken, a Playstation, he’s broken two of my phones, he’s broken an ipod.
“During lockdown he’s got worse and more bad tempered.”
Finn was due to do summer tests for GCSES, but has been unable even to find out what he should be doing.
“I don’t even know because whenever I try to do it, he’s always in my room,” he says.
“I’m constantly trying to and he doesn’t let me — he constantly throws meltdowns all the time. I am worried, because I don’t really know any of the subjects — Frank won’t let me study or anything.
“Frank takes medication, but apart from that, there’s really nothing else you can do.
“If we could get more respite — it’s good to have him away for the four hours, but four hours of studying isn’t that much when you think about it.
“If you’re spending half an hour on each subject you’re only getting eight subjects done.
“I would just like to say if there are any other young carers reading this, you’re not alone. You’re not the only ones going through stress at the minute in this lockdown.”
Finn is supported by Lisa Corey, a project worker with Barnardos Young Carers Service.
She says: “We aim to give our young carers the opportunity and space to explore being young carers and what that means for them, introduce them to other young carers to have the sense of belonging and that they are not on their own.
“Our work is personalised to suit the individual and we build on resilience and confidence. We achieve that through individual work, group work and peer support.”