‘Seeing Kate owning the stage in LA while presenting an award... my heart just soared’
In this week’s interview, we talk to Deirdre Grant from Cookstown, a mother of four children including 22-year-old Kate, who is the first model in NI with Down’s syndrome
Q
Tell us about your childhood. A
I had a happy, carefree childhood. I was the youngest of three children — I had one brother and one sister. We are very different, but we all got on. We grew up with a very strong work ethic. My father held down two jobs — he was an engineer and he also helped students with various courses in engineering. My mother worked in a local grocery shop and she was always home for us coming back from school.
Q
What are you most proud of? A
When I reflect on my life, I am most proud of all my four children — Patrick (32), Michael (24), Kate (22) and 19-year-old Ella.
I have instilled in each one of them independence and knowing what is right from wrong. Thank goodness they have all done very well and have reached their potential. The four of them are very much individuals and they all really enjoy what they are doing in life — they are happy. I think if you have happiness, that’s everything, as well as your health.
Q
The one regret you wish you could amend? A
I was supposed to study nursing and become a midwife, but my father passed away and then within a year my sister and brother got married. That just left mum and me, and I knew I had to go and get work, so I turned down nursing. That is my regret, I should have gone on. We would have been able to devise a plan to manage.
Q
What about phobias. Do you have any? A
I did have one and it was for large moths, but I desensitised myself. I don’t believe you should go through life being afraid of things, especially one of God’s creatures. It has beauty in it, so I learned to like to the moth. I went to the Botanic Gardens, where they have a huge number of preserved moths in drawers. I put my hand on the glass and it went from there.
Q
The temptation you cannot resist? A Chocolate. My daughter Kate is so good and she is my speaking conscious mind. When I go to eat chocolate, she says: “Mammy, a minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips.” I just don’t get away with it.
Q
Your number one prized possession? A My children because they mean everything to me. They are so precious. They are what make me get up in the morning.
Q
The book that’s most impacted your life?
A
Us Three by Ruth Jones. It’s about three girls who meet in primary school and share their lives from then on. It reminds me of a bond that I have with two other girls who I’ve known since I came to Cookstown 26 years ago. I can just see each one of us in these characters and how our paths have crossed and changed, but we always end up back together again.
Q
If you had the power or authority, what would you do? A
I would make it compulsory that everyone is kind because if you show kindness to everyone then you will have respect. I think if you have respect for each other, the world would be a better place.
Q
What makes your blood boil every time without fail? A
Injustice makes my blood boil. Where Kate is concerned, when I know she is able to do a task or job and she is overlooked because of her disability, I just find that very discriminating.
I think people need to wake up and accept others for who they are and what they are able to do, not what they can’t do.
With Kate, I know there is a lot that she can do if people just can get past that image firstly — the image of someone with Down’s syndrome and the stigma that goes with it.
It has come a long way, thank God, and Kate has helped it to come a long way. There are still people who are very narrow-minded. Before Kate even opens her mouth, they have already made judgments.
Q
Who has most influenced you in life? A My father Brian Burke because he was a very hard-working, just man who never condemned anyone. He always said: “You never know what’s going on in other people’s lives, so you can’t make judgements because you’re not walking in their shoes.”
As I said, he was hard-working. I used to work alongside him when I was in secondary school and would help him do different bits and pieces. I loved being with him.
Q AYour top three dinner party guests, dead or alive, and why? It would have to be the actor Robin Williams. He was very funny. I think he was very uplifting and it was always portrayed that he was upbeat and lively, but little did we know he was the great pretender, unfortunately.
He had depression. From the outside it looked as if he loved the world and the world loved him, so I suppose I would like to pick his brains as to why he did what he did. The other one would be Amy Winehouse. I think she was an amazing singer and I love the stories behind her songs.
The third guest would be my grandmother on my mum’s side, Peggy Greene, because I would love to know the family history and connection — all of that is lost now. I would be finding out who I am. It is important to know who you are from an ancestry point of view.
‘My first husband died when my son was 10 days old’
QWhat the best piece of advice you’ve ever received in your life?
ANever travel out on a maiden voyage; wait until the return voyage to see how it got on. A good friend told me that. Sometimes, you just jump in on things. After you’ve said yes, you think maybe you should have waited until it was tried and tested.
Q
The unlikely interest or hobby that you love? A
I’m a yoga instructor and I just love yoga. It’s an all-rounder for your mind and your body. The clarity that it gives you and the balance, it’s just a lovely thing to do. No matter how I feel beforehand, I always come away glad that I went to the mat.
Q The poem that touches your heart? A
I Worried, which is by Mary Oliver. It’s a beautiful and reflective poem about the trivial and the silly things we all worry about. The worrying harms us and causes us stress, and for what? I love the poem because it tells us that there’s no point or reason to worry. It always works out. Q The happiest moment of your life? A
Seeing Kate on the Dolby Theatre stage in Los Angeles presenting at the American Influencers Awards. She walked out on that stage as if she owned it and my heart just soared.
I was immensely proud of her. I looked at her and I thought: “Kate, those doctors didn’t know what they were talking about. You have proved them wrong.”
Whenever Kate was born, the doctors painted a very bleak outlook for her. They said she would eventually walk, but they didn’t know at what age or how she would walk, and they said that she might need some assistance.
They also said that her understanding would be very low, but there she was on that stage in high heels and a beautiful gold gown, presenting to the top influencers in America.
Here was this lady from Northern Ireland who had come so far in lots of ways. Q
And the saddest moment of your life? A When my first husband Paddy Brady passed away in January 1989. I was married for just over a year. My son Patrick was only born in December 1988 and we had just got out of hospital when Paddy had the car accident. He went out to do a message and never came back. Patrick was only 10 days old. Q
The one event that made a difference in your life? A Walking into a nightclub and overhearing someone counting spots behind me. I had a spotted top on at the time. I turned around and saw this man. I looked at him as if he was crazy and turned away, and low and behold that man, John Grant, is my husband now.
John was counting the dots. I don’t know why, but I guess it probably was just a way to get me to turn around and speak to him. I gave him a look that could have turned him to stone.
I was happy to stay the way I was, but this just took me by storm. We are 26 years’ married now... and we got engaged this Christmas. We never actually got engaged at the time — we just went and got married two years after we met. It was supposed to happen when we were 25 years’ married, but last year was so busy that it didn’t. John got the ring — he’s not romantic, but I told him to come out with some sort of romantic gesture. And I have a lovely ring on my finger now, it’s beautiful.”
Q
What’s the ambition that keeps driving you forward? A
Trying to do the best that I can. No matter what I do in life, I try and give it my all. If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing right. Q
What’s the philosophy that you live by? A
Live and let live. That stems from my father, who would say that no one can judge others and that is embedded in me.
Q
How do you want to be remembered? A
As someone who always had time for others.