THOUGHT FOR THE WEEKEND

Allen Sleith Hillsborough Presbyterian Church

Just over a fortnight ago, my eldest cousin, David, died after a lengthy illness, heroically faced.

He was only 49. He leaves behind a wife and two adult children, whose grief is shared by his parents, his sister and her family, the family circle and a vast orbit of friends.

At his funeral, restricted to 25 attendees in these pandemic times, the only way in which two significant groups in his life — his Aer Lingus colleagues and his motorbike friends — could pay tribute was to form a guard of honour and a revvedup escort, respectively; moving and poignant gestures, deeply appreciated.

I was asked to give the eulogy, a sad privilege.

I shared some memories and perspectives about how, as a pilot, he was literally a high-flyer, but also down-to-earth in the best sense: fun-loving, devoted, humorous and determined.

It’s impossible to do justice in a short address to anyone’s life, especially one crammed as full as David’s.

But whether a life has been as rich as David’s, or perhaps less so in the case of others, death is the great leveller.

Great achievements or not, long-lived or not, death relativises

‘Despite tragedy, life is a good gift and its greatest feature is love — given, received, shared, enjoyed’

our usual standards of assessment.

And, so, we grope for meaning as much as we hope for healing.

I quoted Raymond Carver from his last poem before he died, also aged 49. It’s intriguing, because you’re not sure if he’s talking to himself, or his loved ones, or to God — maybe all together:

And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

The poem is called Late Fragment, from his volume A New Path to the Waterfall. There’s realism in that little phrase “even so”, speaking as it does of all that blights life.

And yet the central message is the affirmation that, despite tragedy, life is a good gift and that its greatest feature is love — given, received, shared, enjoyed.

Amid David’s accomplishments, many, varied and great, the greatest remains the fact that he is “beloved” — our beloved — then, now and always.

God is love and those who live in love, live in God, God living in them (1 John 4:16).