What men must do so that women can feel safe

JUST a few days after the celebration of International Women’s Day, social media is awash with women highlighting the challenges we face to stay safe.

The disappearance of Sarah Everard while she walked through London gives shape to the constant threats against us.

The circumstances of the case are not known — but it throws the spotlight on a wider issue.

Along with the fear, there is also a knowledge — on a general level — constantly carried by women that the targeting of us, from sexual harassment up to murder, is for many a fact of life.

Even for women who follow ‘The Rules’ like Sarah — walk in a brightly-lit area in clothes you can run in, let someone know where you are — when it comes down to the worst outcome, what we do to protect ourselves is sometimes never enough.

As if anyone needed any proof most violence against women is carried out by men, a report from the UN last year showed that in the UK a woman is killed by a man every three days.

The same organisation has also deemed sexual harassment a human rights crisis, with 97% of women aged 18 to 24 saying they had been sexually harassed and 80% of women of all ages said they had experienced sexual harassment in public spaces. Could any legal system truly address the issue?

Sexual harassment is just the tip of the iceberg when it precedes the assault or worse that can follow on from it.

It means men who catcall or make comments often have to be considered as potential attackers by the women they target.

It is the potential perpetrator that holds the power and this becomes even more evident after high profile incidents.

There are so many similar cases of other women that never receive the same level of attention.

But the advice women are given to address their own safety places all the onus on us.

When the Met Police ask women to not go out alone, they mean well, but they are making the women of London prisoners of behaviour they cannot control, when it is our most frequent attackers — men — who should be taking more responsibility for preventing violence.

The vast majority of men do not murder or engage in sexual violence. But many allow low-level damaging behaviour when talking about women in their social circles and workspaces.

Many men do not call out others when they use objectifying language — even on what they would view as a small scale — in regard to women. This allows what can become insidious threatening conduct, which can be followed by much worse.

When men ask how they can alter their behaviour to make women feel safer, steps like crossing the road to give us space are welcome. But we need men to share our anger.

We need more than a commitment not to use violence against women, but for men to stand against it on this frontier of women’s rights to feel safe in the world.