There is of course nothing more annoying in a handshake than the feeble wet lettuce experience
As any aspiring cook can tell you, a handshake from Paul Hollywood is the cherry on the cake. It’s confirmation you have succeeded on The Great British Bake Off. Your dish is a delight and his out stretched arm is craved by the contestants. I have always been a fan of the handshake. It has so much more substance than cheek-to-cheek air kissing, or awkward hugs.
Having said that, a poorly delivered one can be a disappointing start to any relationship. I once attempted to shake a woman’s hand while she was expecting a gentle hug. As we both moved in with different intentions, I grabbed her elbow and almost dislocated her shoulder. It might be this memory which causes me to be both cautious and analytical. I often consider the message in the move. With the vast majority of people it’s simply a warm method of saying ‘hello’, but with others it can be more than that.
The person who clasps your hand and then not only continues to hold it but begins to cap it with their other hand can either be exceptionally welcoming or mildly irritating. It might be a clerical thing. I once had such an encounter with the bishop. He was engaging and encouraging. As he spoke, he continued to pat the back of my hand with his other hand. I felt as if he was confirming me. It would be many years later before I’d encounter a similar grasp. This time it was the Reverend Ian Paisley. I felt as if he was converting me.
There is of course nothing more annoying than the wet lettuce experience. It’s a feeble attempt and can leave the recipient feeling like they have touched the scales of a fish. It’s important to be firm, but if you lack that physical strength then a slight squeeze of the fingers can make up for it.
Her Majesty, the late Queen, probably shook more hands than most people and she perfected the art of just doing enough to impress without lingering on your palm.
Very often she wore soft gloves, protecting herself from the great unwashed. Preparing to meet her during her historic visit to UTV, I had noticed she would sometimes stand back while a person shook her hand but on other occasions she would lean slightly forward to say a few words.
A good friend hadn’t realised this ahead of his first encounter with her some years earlier at Hillsborough Castle.
My friend, showing all his gentlemanly qualities, bowed lowly as she shook his hand – but at the same time the Queen moved forward to speak to him, and only a timely shoulder from someone else stopped him from delivering a royal head butt.
Relationship experts emphasise the importance of what’s called ‘handshake to eye coordination’ when trying to enhance your love life.
Apparently we should shake hands firmly and reinforce the welcome with the briefest of eye contact. The eyes should not linger, but if the handshake continues after eye contact is broken the signs are good. All sounds a bit intrusive to me. Apparently the person who pulls away first will have the upper hand, so to speak.
Body language writers have published volumes on the rights and wrongs of the handshake.
It’s much more popular in western countries than elsewhere, and if you do feel uncomfortable doing it, remember there are other greetings like sticking out your tongue in Tibet, bumping noses in Oman or sniffing faces in Greenland.
With that in mind, a limp tickle of the fingers mightn’t be so bad after all.