Shea Tomkins

Bray People - - NEWS - Shea Tomkins

ONE SATUR­DAY night I was sit­ting by the fire leaf­ing my way through the pages of the Ir­ish Field when I no­ticed a missed call on my phone. It was a UK num­ber and I fig­ured it might have been one of nu­mer­ous people I knew over there, who had changed their num­ber.

It rang again a short while later and I an­swered it. A star­tled gen­tle­man asked me why I had called him. I told him I hadn't, that he had called me. He said his name was Cyril Bishop and asked me what com­pany I was with. That's when I smelt a rat, and hung up.

The next day, Sun­day, there were a few more missed calls on the phone from Cyril's num­ber. So I de­cided to block him. I didn't re­ceive any more calls for the next few days.

Later that week, I was in work when the phone rang again and up popped Cyril's num­ber once more.

Even though the num­ber had been blocked, he was still able to get to me. I didn't an­swer. He left me a voice­mail, in hushed tones, which was as fol­lows, ‘Sea­mus, it's Cyril. I've been try­ing to get hold of you on sev­eral oc­ca­sions. Call me.'

The only time any­one calls me Sea­mus is ei­ther when they are be­ing sar­cas­tic or they fancy a round of fisticuffs, so I fig­ured that Cyril had no idea who I was, in­stead he was pre­tend­ing to know me from hear­ing my name on my voice­mail. (Note to self; change my voice­mail greet­ing).

A few days later I was sit­ting hav­ing a lunchtime cup of tea when Cyril called again. There was an­other voice­mail but this time it wasn't a mes­sage, it was a record­ing of three men hav­ing a con­ver­sa­tion. Cyril was in what sounded like a meet­ing with a bank man­ager and was try­ing to ne­go­ti­ate a busi­ness loan. ‘My name is Cyril Bishop,' I heard him say, ‘and I have a great busi­ness idea.'

The bank man­ager sounded im­pressed as he talked him through the process of a loan ap­pli­ca­tion.

I didn't hear from Cyril again un­til last Sun­day morn­ing at 8.56am, when the phone rang again. Again, there was a new voice mes­sage.

This time he had left me a record­ing of the song ‘Keep on Run­ning' by The Spencer Davis Group. As catchy as it was, I'm not re­ally sure whether Cyril was try­ing to un­nerve me, or amuse me. He did nei­ther. All has gone quiet since, maybe Cyril was off en­joy­ing his Easter weekend and too busy to be both­er­ing me.

Why am I shar­ing this with you? To ad­vise you that dodgy people may try and con­tact you too. And I don’t want to hear any more from Cyril.

Un­less it's an in­her­i­tance no­ti­fi­ca­tion, of course. Then he can call me when­ever he likes. And what­ever.

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