Woody Harrelson out and about for a stroll - surely I’m dreaming?
MY otherwise boring life took an unexpected turn last Saturday night when I bumped into a Hollywood legend. I dissolve into a gibbering wreck when I am anywhere near anybody remotely famous.
I am a Groupie. Always have been. I have been a source of great embarrassment to my friends and family for many years now and am the butt of a lot of jokes. But I can’t help it. As soon as I see anyone vaguely famous, I get all stupid and giddy.
So you can imagine my reaction when walking along the street last Saturday who did I spot only Woody Harrelson. WOODY FECKIN HARRELSON! I’m not the better of it I can tell you! We were in town with the kids, enjoying our local Christmas festival when I saw illusionist Keith Barry who was performing a stunt that night.
Now technically Keith is famous but he is probably one of the few exceptions to my celebrity reaction because I’ve interviewed him so many times, I feel like I know him. I was actually admiring Keith’s coat when I spotted Woody.
I pulled Himself by the back of his jacket, ‘Is...is that.. Wwwoooody Harrelson?’ I asked incredulously. Himself told me not to be stupid but then did a double take.
‘Jesus I think you’re right!’ he said.
Meanwhile the Youngest was pulling on my hand impatiently. ‘Mum, mum the Ferris Wheel!’
‘Will you shush about the Ferris Wheel! That’s Woody Harrelson!’ I exclaimed. She’s nine. She hasn’t watched True Detective or Cheers or White Men Can’t Jump. She was totally unimpressed. I could see Himself and the Eldest eyeing me warily, silently praying I wouldn’t make a show of them. As if ?!
I barged my way over to where three big burly bouncers were standing in front of Woody and Keith. ‘ That’s Woody Harrelson!’ I informed them.‘Eh, yeah we know,’ said one of them drily.
‘OMG I can’t believe it! My heart is pounding’ I said grabbing one fella’s hand and putting it to my chest. He looked uncertainly at his colleagues. ‘Can you ask him if I can have my picture taken with him?’ I pleaded. ‘We can’t. He’s trying to keep a low profile until later,’ they said. ‘Ah pleeeeease!” I begged. ‘Come on now, move along,’ one of them said firmly, nudging me out of the way.
Himself reluctantly claimed me, grabbing me by the arm and hauling me along.
‘Come on, they’re not going to let you near him, you’re wasting your time,’ he advised. ‘Wooooooooody!” I shrieked as Himself dragged me away. Woody looked over for a split second before looking quickly away.
‘Jesus Christ sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you,’ muttered Himself.
I’m still not right!
‘WOOOOOOOOODY!” I SHRIEKED AS HIMSELF DRAGGED ME AWAY. WOODY LOOKED OVER FOR A SPLIT SECOND BEFORE LOOKING QUICKLY AWAY.
Justine ny o h a M ’ O