Resolutions you can succeed at in 2017

FOR many, the New Year is associated with resolutions. We set goals, looking to make changes and improvements for the year ahead so it can be better than last. We want to get rid of patterns and behaviours that are no longer serving us or we want to bring in new more healthy, happy and productive habits.

But how many of these resolutions last? For most, they will have been abandoned by the second week of February if not earlier.

Why do most resolutions fail? They fail because people change only their actions and not their underlying thinking. We all know exercising is ‘ logically’ ‘good for health’. People who force themselves to do things because they are ‘good to do’ do not succeed over time. The road to hell and all of that… We are ultimately emotional beings. We will stick at going to the gym if we love going there. We will stay off the cigarettes long-term if our love for not smoking is greater than our love for smoking. We will keep doing something if we really feel and believe it is right for us deep inside, mentally and emotionally, or if we simply love it, or if we are using it to distract us from what we do not want to look at.

People who force themselves to engage in or avoid whatever behaviour they want to change - going to the gym, giving up smoking, working more or less, weight loss or gain, eating less or whatever the change is, do not generally sustain change over the time if their underlying thinking remains the same. As time goes on–it is difficult to maintain change with will-power alone. Constant thinking about the change often brings us back to the habit. Or if a new habit, the pure discipline becomes wearisome. Moreover, if we are obsessing with whatever it is we want to stop, there is not much benefit to having given it up, as we are still mentally enslaved.

However, when we change our mind and our underlying thinking, the change in behaviour becomes effortless and easy to integrate, maintain and sustain.

Many years ago I gave up smoking and alcohol. When I changed my mind about them the change became relatively easy to maintain. My view of what they are and what they did for me or even what they would do for me now is very different to what it once was.

I was chatting with a friend last weekend. He quit smoking 5 years ago and has never had one since and is not at all interested. He does not hate them. He just ‘flipped a switch’ in his head and now sees smoking in a completely different way than he once did.

When our head, heart and hands are working together change becomes sustainable. But what does this look like in practice? How do you initiate and maintain change?

If you really want to stick at the change, reflect on it. If you can change your mind, you can change anything. The opposite is also true. Do you see the change as a reward or a punishment? What are the benefits to this change? Not the ones you read in a book or a health magazine–but the ones that speak to you. For me the best benefit of not smoking is that that I lose no mental energy to wanting or calculating when I will have my next cigarette. My mind is free of that. No more mental gymnastics or addictive wanting at airports, offices, public places, parties or when I am with people. Now I can just be and enjoy the moment whereever I am.

Mark Twain had a great line: ‘Old habits should not be flung out of the window, they should be coaxed down the stairs one step at a time’. Change that is implemented gradually is generally more easy to sustain. This has been my experience and I have seen it in others .. particularly in relation to weight loss or gain.

So if you want to make lasting resolutions in 2017–change your mind first. And consider doing things gradually if possible for a lasting effect.

Meditation is a great support to anyone wanting to make lasting change in their lives. It is a workout for the mind and makes it strong, balanced and flexible – thus very receptive to change and capable of sustaining change. Remember if you make a one percent change in any one area of your life on a daily basis–over a year, this will result in a 3800 percent improvement. We would all be happy with those percentages.

If you feel inspired to make changes as a result of reading this article, we would love to hear from you.