Making small talk in the teeth of pressing current events can be really hard work

LET’S talk about something else. Something else. Almost anything else. Not root canal dentistry, for preference, though at least that would make a change. And really it would be best to avoid grim subjects such as economics or prison reform. ‘Speaking of prisoners, did you hear about the mass breakout from Brazilian jails? Apparently, or so I read on Facebook, the inmates were worried that their privileges were about to be taken away because of …’

Hoi! Let’s talk about something else. Something else, like spring maybe. There’s a wholesome, happy, hopeful topic for this time of year as we emerge from the gloom of winter. If you want to give yourself a lift, just take a stroll around the garden and rejoice in seeing all the buds, on all the plants, all waiting to burst into life.

‘But will there be any insects to pollenate your plants? Apparently, or so I read on the news sites, all the bees and the aphids and the flies are being struck down by a mysterious world-wide condition which is reducing populations. I suppose it’s a bit like what we humans are experiencing with…’

Don’t you dare. Please, let’s not be depressing ourselves. With the warmer weather coming in, surely we could usefully spend a little time discussing which varieties of tomato we should be growing this summer. There’s hundreds of them, if not thousands – Yellow Pear, for instance. And Santorini, we might give that a try. And then there’s the old reliable, Moneymaker.

‘Moneymaker! That’s a good one, though I don’t suppose anyone will be making much money this year, with the influx of…’ You’re at it again! Let’s talk about something else. I insist. Have you read any good books recently? There’s a new Hilary Mantel out – that should be a page turner. A rollicking 16th century historical novel with public executions and marital shenanigans.

‘ That’s the trilogy about Cromwell, isn’t it? Not Oliver Cromwell, I realise, but Thomas Cromwell. I wonder if they were related. To be honest, Mantel looks a bit heavy. I might give Albert Camus a try instead. I see on the web that his ‘La Peste’, first published in 1947, is back in the best seller lists. Apparently, his fictional ‘plague’ bears an uncanny resemblance…’

Enough. Let us talk about something else, I implore. Something else. Something else, like air travel perhaps. Or perhaps not.

Something else. Something else, like the Government of the day. Or maybe not.

Something else. Something else, like public transport, or toilet paper, or supermarket opening hours. No. No. No.

Or art. We should be on safe enough ground with art. Did you tell me that you had started painting? Aren’t you the dark horse? I can picture you in a smock standing at an easel all the same. Can we expect invitations to an exhibition any time soon?

‘Get away with you. There will be no exhibitions and no invitations, rest assured. What you call art is more a form of relaxation therapy. I produce these things called mandalas.’

What on earth and in the name of all that’s sacred is a mandala? ‘It’s hard to explain in words but I suppose a mandala could be described as an exploration of symmetry decorated with abstract symbols. The joy of it is that even a beginner can take satisfaction from creating a mandala. No lifelong apprenticeship is involved.’ Did you mention symbols?

‘Yes, the strict geometric discipline of the symmetry integral to the mandala is contrasted on the page with the release of the unfettered free flow of the sub-conscious in the form of doodles, adornments, decorations, symbols.’

Crikey. At last, at least, something else.

‘I find my tutor is most helpful. Not only does she keep me straight when it comes to the framework which provides the foundation for each mandala. She also helps me explore the meaning of the symbols I am drawing. They could reflect events of childhood, for instance, or they could be inspired by up-to-date events such as the…’

Enough! Stop right there. I’m going for a walk.