An exciting team to light up any stadium
THIS WEEK for the sake of my own sanity, and the sanity of others, I’m going to write something that doesn’t mention the cursed coronavirus as I briefly try to cocoon myself from the harsh reality of what’s going on in the world.
With plenty of extra time to think about all sorts of things as we remain indoors, many seem to be throwing together lists of favourites teams and best players and the like.
Well if you can’t beat them, join them I say, so I’ve decided to name my all-time favourite Premier League team.
Not the best eleven that have plied their trade in the top flight in England since 1992, just players that for one reason or another that I warmed to and got me excited as a football fan.
With the team I support myself having only spent one solitary season in the top tier of English football there’s absolutely no bias here, it’s just a bunch of footballers that I enjoyed watching play.
I’m not sure if this team would win many matches, but one thing’s for sure it would be one hell of a rollercoaster ride watching them try.
Goalkeeper: Brad Friedel – The American certainly got around in the Premier League during his long career, playing for Liverpool, Blackburn Rovers, Aston Villa and Tottenham and did a good job wherever he went. He was a great shot-stopper and even managed to score for Rovers against Charlton Athletic.
Right back: Bacary Sagna – The pacy Frenchman with the distinctive hairstyle, who played for Arsenal and Manchester City, was a joy to watch as he went on marauding runs down the right wing, causing all sorts of problems for opposing defenders. His crossing ability was also top-notch and he’s certainly one of the best right backs to ever grace the Premier League.
Central defence: Ledley King – King was an extremely talented centre-half, who could have been one of the all-time greats if it wasn’t for injury. Despite having the dodgiest knees in football he did manage to show how good he was for a while, despite barely being able to train. A defender with presence, pace and calmness on the ball. Poetry in motion.
Central defence: Marcel Desailly – The French World Cup winner may have been into the latter stages of his career when he arrived at Chelsea in 1998 but he oozed class. He could read the game to perfection, was strong in the tackle and could also pick out a pass.
Left back: Leighton Baines – Baines is a player whose performances are easy on the eye, both for Everton and Wigan before that. A dependable defender but also one who is always looking to attack, providing numerous assists for his front players. His ability to strike a penalty is as good as anyone in the game.
Right midfield: Jay-Jay Okocha – A player this good lining out for an unfashionable club like Bolton Wanderers is one of the strangest things to ever happen in the Premier League. The talented and unconventional Nigerian, who played with a smile on his face, was a joy to watch and his attacking flair always shone through, despite playing for a defence-minded manager like Sam Allardyce.
Central midfield: Roy Keane – The Corkman certainly has the Marmite effect, but despite having no great love for Manchester United, I always admired his passion, commitment and will to win. If you’re in the trenches, Keane would be the one player you’d want battling beside you and whether good, bad or ugly it was always interesting watching him play.
Central midfield: Juninho – The diminutive midfielder was one of those players that would have supporters on the edge of their seats. In his first two seasons with Middlesbrough he really set the Premier League alight. ‘The Little Fella’ had superb skills and was idolised by the Boro faithful. Obviously the feeling was mutual as he had three separate spells at the club.
Left midfield: David Ginola – The Frenchman with the flowing locks was a true entertainer in his time in the league, particularly for Newcastle United and Tottenham. He may not have been the most hard-working, and did very little in the way of tracking back, but he more than made up for it going forward. A supremely talent footballer who was capable of turning a game with a piece of magic.
Forward: Matt Le Tissier – Le Tissier was just wonderful to watch and he netted so many spectacular strikes that he could have had his own personal goal of the season competition. His moments of genius were many, but it was the way he played the game that made him even more interesting to watch. There was an almost carefree approach to his game and he performed like he was having a kickabout in the park with his mates, doing stuff with the ball that most others couldn’t even contemplate.
Forward: Jan Age Fjortoft - My final selection is an entirely selfish one as a Swindon Town fan. The Norwegian, famed for his arms outstretched ‘aeroplane’ goal celebration, was a rare chink of light for the club in their only season in the top flight. He made a terrible start to his time in England, failing to score before Christmas as the Robins didn’t mange to win any of their first 16 games, but he suddenly sprang to life, scoring 13 goals in the final 17 matches of the campaign.
Substitutes: But for my loyalty to Swindon Paulo Wanchope would have made the cut. The gangly, almost awkward looking, Costa Rican burst onto the scene when about half an hour into his debut for Derby County he picked up the ball near the halfway line and went on a run that ended up with him sticking the ball in the back of the Manchester United net at Old Trafford.
He never looked like he knew what he was going to do next himself, but somehow it worked, and his unpredictability made him exciting to watch during his time with the Rams, West Ham and Manchester City.
All of the other players that were close to squeezing into the starting eleven are also game-changers, so the substitutes’ bench is jampacked with attacking talent, with not a defender or goalkeeper in sight.
Marians Pahars, Georgi Kinkladze, Tony Yeboah, Dennis Bergkamp and Paolo di Canio are all waiting in the wings to make their mark.
There’s certainly plenty of impact subs among that lively lot.
Ewan MacKenna @EwanMacKenna: Those lauding @ LeoVaradkar and @SimonHarrisTD ought to remember a year ago they were threatening to fine nurses who stood in the rain for better conditions. Some spin of late. And some turn to socialism to get them out of this. Anyone who forgets this, hang your heads please.
Ian Sheerin @iansheerin: Got to hand it to Ewan...he sure knows how to keep people talking about him, even when there’s no sport on. As publicity craving as any Insta “influencer”. No such thing as bad publicity and all that I suppose.
MStaines @robostainz: Me: “Knock, knock”; You: “Who’s there?”; Me: “Control freak”; You: “Cont..”; Me: “Okay now you say ‘control freak who!’” #coronavirus #Coronavirusireland
James Sheerin @jumbosheerin: I’ve enjoyed your jokes so far but not sure on this one Marko. Bring back the dad jokes.
MStaines @robostainz: Fair enough. Wandering into knock knock world is risky, but I might have one more.
Anyway, in other news, if you get an email from the Department for Health saying not to eat tinned pork because it contains Covid-19 - ignore it. It’s spam.
MStaines @robostainz: One more knock knock for you as promised.
A live joke.
This is unprecedented... here we go...
Knock knock
#coronavirus
Mark JL Grennan @TheJL91: Who’s there?
MStaines @robostainz: Broken pencil
Mark JL Grennan @TheJL91: Broken pencil who? MStaines @robostainz: Ah never mind, it’s pointless!
Dr Vincent O’Flaherty @vinnywicklow: Warning sign!
To all GAA players running in Annacurra wood. Last year’s Leinster hurling final referee @jkeenan37 has been spotted running the wood with what looks like a lineman’s flag.
Even though no one was near me, he still gave me a yellow card for pulling a jersey.
#ComeOnRef
Andrew Ryan @Andrew_Ryan19: ‘If Wicklow were to draw Monaghan or Cork or whoever, I think it would be a brilliant, novel idea for one year.’
Davy Burke, @wicklowgaa senior football manager, speaking in favour of a potential 32-county interprovincial, open championship.
#GAA #Wicklow