If you can’t say anything nice about somebody, just say nothing at all

A few years ago I received a text message from a good friend of mine. ‘You OK?’ I was a bit perplexed because it was totally out of the blue. I replied I was fine and asked her why she was wondering. She rang me.

‘You haven’t been online have you?’ I said I hadn’t. She then broke it to me that I was being discussed on some forum, following an article I had published in this newspaper. Apparently I was being torn apart. Obviously I went online to see what was being said.

They were stupid, ignorant comments. Comments about my looks, my personality, my ability to write. They made me feel sick and it hurt.

But you know what? I never, once went back on that forum again. If people were going to write lies about me, I really didn’t want to know. Because realistically what could I do? If you reply you’re only fanning the flames. It’s a no-win situation.

NOTHING CAN BRING CAROLINE FLACK BACK. BUT MAYBE WE CAN ALL LEARN A LESSON FROM THIS SENSELESS TRAGEDY

That was the only instance, that I am aware of where I was vilified by people I didn’t know, people who didn’t know me and people who sat at their keyboards with nothing better to do than pour vitriol onto a screen, knowing there was going to be no consequences for their actions.

Imagine how Caroline Flack felt – being vilified by the press and on social media day after day, having her life scrutinised and commented on by people who didn’t even know her. It made her feel so worthless and unloved that she took her own life at the weekend. A 40 year old beautiful, talented woman who was tormented and tortured by people who are only brave and outspoken in their anonymity – gutless cowards.

Whilst I acknowledge there needs to be accountability regarding social media, the press needs to accept their role in this horrendous tragedy. The tabloids hounded Caroline Flack. They were relentless in their pursuit of a headline. They camped outside her house in recent weeks following a domestic incident between herself and her boyfriend despite the fact she admitted publicly she was having mental health issues and was trying to sort herself out.

And WE need to accept our responsibility too. If there was no demand for this type of gutter press journalism, there would be none. If they weren’t making money out of these stories they wouldn’t print them so don’t buy the paper, don’t read the article, don’t click on the link.

This kind of clickbait is not news. It’s voyeuristic gossip at best. And complete lies at worst.

Nothing can bring Caroline Flack back. But maybe we can all learn a lesson from this senseless tragedy.

Nobody really knows what goes on in anyone else’s life so if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all.