‘Live every moment as if it were your last, take every breath as if it were the last bit of oxygen on this Earth’
Shortly after she was diagnosed with Type One diabetes in February 2015 teenager Caitlin Davis wrote this poignant essay about her condition.
The 17-year-old secondary school student died on October 27 after she suffered a cardiac arrest which was brought on by her diabetes.
The teen who wanted to be a trauma doctor after she left school was a pupil at FCJ Bunclody.
The daughter of Debbie and Andrew Caitlin had two sisters Pippa and Olivia and the family are hoping that by sharing Caitlin’s essay it will raise awareness of the disease.
‘My whole life, I have been presented to a single element change. However, just recently, I have come to realize that change, can be the deepest of all subjects.
‘Change occurs in many different ways, sometimes you don’t even realize it’s happening. I always assumed that change occurred when you moved to a new town or when you lost someone close to you.
‘ Those are elements to change, yes, but change doesn’t have to occur over a single dramatic event. It can just happen overnight when your brain determines it’s time to do something different. People reject this change and try to fight it. The people we love, love us so much that they want us to remain the way we are forever. Forever is a long time and no one can never change. Think about it if nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.
‘ There are a number of setbacks that people can be tested by; the changes to one’s life can range from major to insignificant, casual and undemanding to extraordinary and even painful. I experienced a irreversible fortune that was both common and catastrophic. Being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes taught me that no matter what hardships may befall you, any problem can be overcome with your family beside you.
‘I first noticed something was wrong with me a few weeks before my mock exams; I was excessively thirsty drinking almost 15-20 litres a day, always tired and weak with frequent mood swings. I wasn’t eating and when I did it came back up. I was so exhausted that I could hardly get myself from my bed to the door. I sat through mock exams with barely any vision and no sleep the night before.
‘When my mom took me to the doctor, I was diagnosed with ‘ Type 1 Diabetes’. I was completely and indescribably shocked but so relieved to know that I wouldn’t feel so weak and helpless anymore. I had little understanding as to what diabetes was and everything that came with it but why ME?
‘When I left the hospital, after being in for over a week, I realized I was going to have to grow up and deal with the realities of my disease. I learned that Type 1 Diabetes was an autoimmune disease, which meant my immune system had attacked and killed off all of the insulin-producing beta cells in my pancreas. Type 1 Diabetes does not discriminate; male or female, young or old, any race or nationality. Anyone can be at risk.
‘I also learned that in order to stay alive, I would have to test my blood glucose levels several times daily, count every single gram of carbohydrates I ingested, and take injections of insulin regularly. I also learned about diabetic seizures from low blood sugar, DKA or comas from high blood sugar, and the long term complications of diabetes such as blindness, kidney damage and amputation of limbs. My thoughts and feelings quickly melted into emotions of ‘why me?’ I was scared.
‘I was uncertain about what the future held for me, and so was my family. But one of the best life lessons I learnt from my diabetes, I learnt to accept things as they are. By dwelling on things that cannot be changed will drive someone crazy, so I decided to change to meet the needs of my disease. I walked in the hospital a sick child and I walked out of the hospital an insightful young adult.
‘Initially, I did not have the ability to handle the personal situations that I was going to have to face on a daily basis. The social pressure brought on by feeling different was difficult for me. When returning to school, I had a paranoid fear that other kids would start to treat me different.
‘I feared funny looks and pity parties, so I took every precaution possible to keep my disability masked. I have discovered that most are very interested and compassionate about my diabetes and I have learned that those who are not accepting of my disease are not worthy of a friendship.
‘Finally, I have learnt to cope with what life has given me. When one is diagnosed with diabetes, they are given a choice, to accept their condition or not. People who die from diabetes choose to live in denial about the disease. I have chosen to take control of my life and accept it. Diabetes has taught me that when life gives you sugar make damn sure not to eat it.
‘During challenging moments, I just tell myself it could be so much worse. That is the mentality I live with as a result of diabetes. I make a conscious effort to avoid pity-parties and to avoid hiding behind my diabetes when I fall short. I have learned to take care of myself and manage my condition. As a result of this disease, I am more responsible, and educated about life. I wish it had never happened, but it has been life changing for the better.
‘Yet, diabetes is an erratic disease and being only human, I do get frustrated with the never ending challenges of my condition. However, as a result of dealing with my problems and differences, I have developed empathy for others and their challenges. Diabetes has changed my whole life and exactly what I think of it. I accept all people for who they are because I would want the same for me. After all, life can be difficult. Having diabetes has made me aware of the immutable fact; none of us are perfect.
‘Life is not just a bed of roses; thorns are also a part of it and should be accepted by us just as we accept the beautiful side of it. Thus, enjoy life but also be prepared to bear the pricks of pain and the changes that are inevitable. Change is a part of life, something that will always happen no matter what anyone does to try stop it.
‘My view of the problem is that change is an indispensable part of our lives. It’s sad how this works, but in reality, it’s our choice on how the change affects us. People should accept this fact and try to learn how to tackle it rather than avoid it, which is impossible. As there is a saying every cloud has a silver lining, hope is always there for us.’