I complained about the soccer – but if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em
THE HIGHLIGHT of our holiday so far – Being in a French bar in France watching France win the World Cup. Allez Les Bleu. ’ Twas a glorious evening. The sun surrounded us in magnificent halos of light and random Frenchmen hugged and kissed me as their team swept to victory. What’s not to like?
And I know I’m a hypocrite because all I did before I came on holidays was give out about the World Cup but you know I’ve always believes in the adage – if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em... especially if there’s handsome Frenchmen involved.
Low point of the holiday – having a French waiter shout at me repeatedly for not having made a reservation. In the end I told him to shove his table up his arse and stalked out. My school girl French completely deserted me and all I could think of in response to his verbal onslaught was ‘ou est la magnetaphone’ which roughly translates as ‘where is the tape recorder’, not the most useful turn of phrase.
But as family holidays go it’s been a good one. The Teenager has interacted with us every day and has even stopped grunting his usual under the breath comments. He and his sister have shared a minuscule bunk room without inflicting injury on one another and even occasionally laughed at each other’s jokes.
He has left us in no doubt however that this will be his last holiday en famille as next year he will be 17 and ‘ The Whole Man’. The fact he can’t even make a slice of toast leaves me mildly curious as to how he will survive but really I’m just thinking of all the money we’ll save.
Meanwhile our children have informed us that we drink way more than the recommended weekly allowance and advised us to seriously curtail our intake. We responded by pouring another glass of rosé and telling them that parents know best.
And if it is our last family holiday together it’s been a good one to end on. We’re all still talking and the Teenager admitted it ‘wasn’t that boring’ after all. I somehow suspect though that we’re not going to be able to offload them that easily. There may be a sabbatical of a few years but your kids will always bleed you dry and if, in a while, the chance of a free holiday comes up, I reckon we’ll be a foursome again.
THE TEENAGER ADMITTED THE HOLIDAY ‘WASN’T THAT BORING’ AFTER ALL