Love and courage
This week: The Country of Marriage by Wendell Berry
WE HAD the pleasure of a visit from Pope Francis to these shores last week when he attended the World Meeting of Families as the keystone of his visit. Naturally, given the recent history of many issues facing the Catholic Church in Ireland, he was going to have to come face to face with many weighty topics during his visit.
This he did, and whether or not there will be progress and positivity regarding same, only time will tell, but let’s sincerely hope for all concerned that there are. Healing can be a slow process, but all things remain possible, if not probable.
One item that he paid special attention to was the subject of marriage. His Saturday afternoon audience at the Pro Cathedral in Dublin dealt solely with this matter. The congregation for the greater part was made up of some 350 couples who had recently married or intended to in the near future, and from a sample of these he fielded questions and offered to them guidance and advice.
His overall theme and message was that the world needs a revolution of love that should start with ones families. True, he has never been a member of the institution of marriage himself, but nonetheless there remained wisdom in his comments. But perhaps the stand-out moment for many was the sight and words of Vincent and Teresa Gamble from Stonybatter, Dublin, a couple celebrating 51 years of marriage, together. They were a joy to behold, and a great testimony to their own strength as a couple, having ridden the waves and survived the marital troughs throughout their time together. Most striking was their beautiful observation, that problems could be halved, and joys doubled. Simple but so very insightful. Remind one of the lyrics of that ballad, “.... life is an ocean, and love is a boat, in troubled waters, it keeps us afloat....” .
Certainly the current statistics on longevity of marriage may not support the hope that all those in attendance at the Pro Cathedral will get anywhere close to that 50-year celebration mark, but who knows? If they remain strong and happy, loving and true, let’s hope they do.
By way of balance it was my intention, here, to show the other side, the darker side, to deal with one of the many, many challenges that can so explosively derail a marriage. And there exists worse than separation or division, with the creation of situations where people are enduring and suffering in a day after day, living hell.
A poem like ‘Aunt Jennifer’s Tigers’ by Adrienne Rich, is one of conflict, oppression and violence within a marriage, or ‘Modern Love’ by George Meridith, a work riddled with the tortures of ongoing infidelity. But rather than pee on any parade, I thought better of it, and why not share, today, a poem celebrating when all is good, and nurture the feel-good factor for a wee while longer?
‘ The Country of Marriage’ by Wendell Berry is a work of 78 lines and seven irregular stanzas. It is an oddly constructed poem, and quite challenging to read but most definitely worth it, richly sharing it’s reward. Like it’s title suggests, it is his celebration of marriage and rural life, shared with his wife Tanya, in their native Kentucky, USA. It’s a love poem, rich in fidelity, trust, and commitment, although it does contain a tiny hint of heartache, when the narrator accepts that the enormity of love is a depth never fully reached. Seventy eight lines are too many to share here, but here is the wonderful third verse. Treat yourself to the rest when you get the time!
Sometimes our life reminds me of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing and in that opening a house, an orchard and garden, comfortable shades, and flowers red and yellow in the sun, a pattern made in the light for the light to return to. The forest is mostly dark, its ways to be made anew day after day, the dark richer than the light and more blessed, provided we stay brave enough to keep on going in.
John J Kelly is a multiple award-winning poet from Enniscorthy. He is the co-founder of the Anthony Cronin Poetry Award with the Wexford Literary Festival and co-ordinator of poetry workshops for schools locally.
Each week, John’s column will deal mainly with novels, plays and poems from both the Leaving Certificate syllabus and Junior Certificate syllabus. kellyjj02@gmail.com