Funeral agony for Mary, who lost both parents in 24 hours
A NEW ROSS woman who suffered the loss of both of her parents within a 24-hour period last week has spoken of her torment at losing them during the coronavirus restrictions,
Mary O’Brien’s father Patrick Cullen died in the UK on Monday and her mother Chrissie Beel died the following day in Waterford.
Chrissie’s son Richard lives in Australia and wasn’t able to return to be by her side during her final moments due to coronavirus restrictions – restrictions which also added to Mary’s distress at losing her beloved mother.
Mary said her mother, who died aged 70 having battled lung cancer, was cared for wonderfully at University Hospital Waterford over recent weeks.
The experience of visiting the hospital with her husband Martin, who runs Spider O’Brien’s pub in New Ross, was especially challenging.
‘She was in the new palliative care unit in the Cherry Ward. It’s scary, as we were there very late at night. It’s very difficult with the restrictions. You have to sign in. They tried their best to accommodate us. There were nights when the ground floor was closed off. You’d come down in the lift and a security guard would be waiting to tell you to go straight back up and wait as a patient [with Covid-19] was being transferred. Sometimes we had to go up and down a few times after seeing my mother. On top of everything we were going through, that was scary and bewildering.’
She said organising the funeral was also very difficult.
‘Because we had no one coming home. My brother Richard tried to but he was told if he left Australia he would be quarantined upon his return and that when he came to Ireland he would have to go into self isolation. The hospital wouldn’t let him see his mother so he was caught every which way.’
Mary said only a small group of family members gathered at Ryan’s funeral home in New Ross for the wake and later at St Mary & St Michael’s parish church for the funeral Mass.
‘It was just me, Martin, our two boys, Mam’s brothers and their wives. We weren’t allowed to sit together in the church. We sat as a family and everyone else had to keep their distance. I couldn’t tell you how many people were in the church I was so distracted, but there wouldn’t have been more than 20. The doors were locked so no one else could come in. It’s just protocol at the moment.’
Mary said similar physical distancing restrictions applied at St Stephen’s Cemetery.
‘ The same family members were around me and after that it was social distancing. People were only able to wave and there was no hugging which was extremely difficult. One or two friends eventually did hug me as they weren’t going to let me suffer alone.’
Mary thanked her family and friends for being there for her over the past few weeks and the nurses at University Hospital Waterford for showing such compassion and care.
She said: ‘We couldn’t have gotten through it without their support. James and Geraldine Ryan from Ryan’s funeral home were fantastic through the whole process and made things so easy for me in such difficult circumstances. I wouldn’t have been able to arrange things without their brilliant handling of the current situation’.
WE WEREN’T ALLOWED TO SIT TOGETHER IN THE CHURCH. WE SAT AS A FAMILY AND EVERYONE ELSE HAD TO KEEP THEIR DISTANCE