Confidence key in helping Conor overcome a speech impediment
GOREY drummer Conor Moore recently teamed up with the British Stammering Association to tell his unique story about the reality of having a stammer as a teenager and reflecting on how he hasn’t let a speech impediment hold him back.
He hopes the essay, entitled ‘Not the King’s Speech but my speech’, will inspire other young people but he admits that accepting himself didn’t come without its challenges.
‘I always knew I couldn’t read in front of a class because of my stammer. I used to deliberately “forget” my book for class. I would jot down “forget novel for Thursday” right after the teacher announced we’d have to read,’ he said.
‘ Thursday would arrive. The teacher would wave the book about as a cue for us to scavenge through our bags and begin the session. I knew where mine was – lodged among boardgames at home where I had put it the night before to avoid Hell. I would busy myself making a tower of books to hide behind, attempting to tell a telepathic message of “please not me” to the teacher.
‘ This would fail as my teacher ran her finger round the room, before eventually pointing to me. I would already hear the sniggering and I’d cringe and say “I-I-I-I d-don’t ha-have a book”, which would be followed by cries of laughter from my classmates. I’d be ordered to “Look at your neighbours and just read”. I carried on fearing throughout my school days’.
Conor spoke about creating a shield to hide behind, describing having a lot of fears and anxieties during that time.
Things took a turn for the better for the former Gorey Community School student when he began his career as a professional drummer at the age of 17, but there were still instances where the shield would come back into use.
‘In life, you create enemies, but you also discover blessings. For instance, I learned I could perform musically and really express my personality and the only way for me to express myself was naturally. This helped immensely, but I was still hiding.
‘Some characters of the alphabet were difficult to deliver and I feared the invitation of doing the ABCs with my baby cousins’.
Conor recalled asking friends or family to order food for him when he was out in social settings, but he realised that confidence was the key thing he was missing.
‘Everyday life for me contained many “there’s no place like home”, click heels and get me out of here situations. I was 18 and I still bullying my mother into ordering whenever we’d go out for a meal. It was embarrassing.
‘But performing musically on stage was a blessing to me, to this day it’s my shield, to put it metaphorically’.
Conor started therapy at 19 and now, nine years later, he regularly tours with his band, a tribute Britpop band called Tied To the 90s, performing to crowds and speaking at seminars.
He runs his own drumming school, Sound Out Rhythm in Gorey, and he recognises he has grown a lot from the scared and frightened teenager.
‘ Throwing myself at the worst-case scenarios helped. I still stammer, it comes and goes but because people are more aware of it now, it makes it so much easier. I even got married last August and made a speech. That was hard, but I got there and I enjoyed it.
‘Looking back at these moments of speaking to groups of people on stage and doing business over the phone, by speaking to me now, you would hardly notice my stammer. But that doesn’t make me forget the pain and stress a person goes through every day with a speech impediment. I would do anything to help’.
Over the last few years, milestones for Conor included supporting top artists such as singer Kelly Clarkson at Wembley, and stepping in making TV appearances. He has played gigs in the likes of Boston, London, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Dublin, Wexford and Belfast, but drumming to Conor is a form of therapy.
‘I’m self-taught in hand percussion instruments, bodhran, and drumming. I picked out my own style along the way and I never tried to copy a style and I think that’s what makes you an artist. You’re never influenced by whether someone else likes it; if it sounds good to you, go with it. Have faith and confidence in yourself ’.
That confidence was key for Conor, and it’s something he takes with him on his journey with music and everything else in his life.
To read the full text of Conor’s speech, visit www.stamma.org and search ‘Not Kings Speech But My Speech’.
Conor asks that if you have a son or daughter who struggles with anything mentioned in the article to reach out to him online by searching ‘Sound Out Rhythm’.
I STILL STAMMER, IT COMES AND GOES... I GOT MARRIED LAST AUGUST AND MADE A SPEECH. THAT WAS HARD, BUT I GOT THERE AND I ENJOYED IT.