Silent struggle: how persons of colour deal with a daily torment
SIMON BOURKE SPEAKS TO THREE WEXFORD TEENAGERS ABOUT RACISM, ISOLATION AND LEARNING TO IGNORE SLURS AND STEREOTYPES
THE death of George Floyd has once more brought the issue of race and racism in America to the fore. A country which seems to be forever teetering on the brink of outright revolt has gone up in flames, its cities burning as protestors and demonstrators clash with police, with authorities, with each other.
Here in Ireland, we watch from afar, horrified, unable to comprehend the senseless killing of Mr Floyd nor the chaos which followed.
Because something like that wouldn’t happen here. We’re not like Americans. We are a fair-minded people. We are welcoming and accepting to all. We would never allow a person, regardless of their colour, to be treated in this way.
Yet, we are not all we appear. True, we are not like America. But racism does exist here. Maybe it is not as overt as in other countries, but for those on the receiving end it is just as hurtful.
We spoke to three people of colour from Wexford about their experiences of racism in Ireland.
Noon Avubakar, Wexford town
Noon was born in Wexford to Sudanese parents. She is Irish. She has an Irish passport. And racism is a part of her everyday life.
‘People, my friends even, have said the “N word”, and I have let it slide. I want to conform. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable with my discomfort. Quietly, I let my white friends defend me. It’s easier when they do it than when I do,’ she says,
Noon (17) says she has heard the “N word” so many times it no longer shocks or surprises her, the only issue now is deciding ‘whether I want to get into a fight when I hear it or whether it’s best to remain silent’.
Because, she says, in this country, it’s easier for a white person to speak out against racism than it is a person of colour.
‘If I speak out about racial issues there is always the potential to upset people and lose my friends. There is a constant inner battle with remaining true to my ideals and cultivating meaningful friendships.
‘I forsake everything I’ve ever believed. I forgive, and forgive and forgive. It’s more acceptable for my friends to be actively outraged by racism than me. I know the reason. I don’t say it.’
Noon says she has tried to educate those who use derogatory terms about race, tried to explain that these micro-aggressions are not acceptable, but it has not had the desired effect.
‘You really want to try and educate them, but when you try to do so they end up feeling attacked. So at some point I just stopped trying to change them,’ she admits.
But one person cannot hope to educate an entire community by themselves. For this to happen Noon believes we need to look at how our children are taught in schools, starting with history and the topics covered.
‘When I was doing my Junior Cert in school there was almost nothing about black history in our curriculum, just four lines about slavery, and yet we learned about the American War, the French Revolution.’
A student at the Loreto, Noon is set to go into Sixth Year in September, and like every young graduate-to-be, she has ambitions for the future; yet even that comes with reservations.
‘In the future, I feel like this (racism) is something I will have to consider. There’s a clear distinction between the reaction you receive if you are white or black. There’s always going to be a fear of discrimination when I try to find work.
‘But I like Ireland, I like the opportunities living here affords me. I was born here. I have an Irish passport. It’s a beautiful country. The people are nice and even though it sounds like a contradiction the people here are accepting to change, even if there is a denial that racism exists here.’
And therein lies the heart of the issue says Noon.
‘ There is racism in every country, and Ireland is no exception. The problem we have here is people deny there is an issue, they don’t acknowledge it.’
Yet Noon maintains that Irish attitudes to race aren’t born of hate, more from a lack of understanding.
‘I think racism here isn’t down to hate but more to do with ignorance, I’ve even heard my teachers say things which aren’t acceptable, but it’s not their fault. However, there is a line between being ignorant and people who want to be ignorant.’
Grace Odunlami, Enniscorthy
Grace Odunlami was in her kitchen with her mother when she first heard the news about George Floyd’s death. And it was news which elicited a familiar range of emotions for the 18-year-old.
‘When the videos and clips started spreading I already knew what it was, I didn’t want to know what was happening. Because every time this happens I always feel the same emotions; anger, rage, helplessness,’ she says.
‘I felt all these emotions again. And I was just praying that this would be the one which causes the outrage.’
Although some of that outrage has spilled into violence, and some of those involved have used Mr Floyd’s death for their own needs, Grace says the overall message should not be lost in the chaos that has followed.
‘ The protests have been happening for a long time in the US, but now they’ve spread to France, Germany and here in Ireland. My generation started this, we’re spelling out that we’ve had enough and we’re showing our support for you even though we’re not in America.’
The demonstration which had been due to take place in Wexford has been temporarily postponed, but Grace says we can still make a difference in this country by discussing the issue of race and how people of colour are viewed in Ireland.
‘I think racism is embedded in our minds throughout the years, it’s in people’s blood and they don’t realise how harmful it is. It started from hatred and became the new normal, a lot of people still have that hate but the majority of it comes from a lack of education.
‘No one is born a racist, you’re only raised as one. Black people have been dehumanised by the media, but by watching films like 12 Years a Slave and programmes like When They See Us you can visualise what happened and you become submerged into these experiences. It opens your eyes.’
Grace’s mother is South African, her dad Nigerian, but she and her two brothers were born in Ireland and have lived here all their lives. And although she says the racism she has experienced doesn’t compare to that in other countries, it has nonetheless taken its toll.
‘I have experienced racism but it hasn’t been like it has been in America or even people living in other parts of Ireland, like Dublin. I’ve walked down the street and had people say the “N word” to me, seen people automatically grip their purse or bag when they see me, or people cross the road when they see me approaching.
‘I always have to have my hood down and my hands out of my pockets when I go into a shop in case they think I’m going to steal something. People are always touching my hair, stroking it like I’m a dog.
PEOPLE HAVE SAID THE “N WORD”, AND I HAVE LET IT SLIDE. I DON’T WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY DISCOMFORT
‘It makes me feel different obviously, like I’m the odd one out. In my secondary school, I was the only black girl in my year, there were only five other black girls in the school. It makes you feel like you’re not a part of the community, you feel like an outcast. Even though I’m Irish I’m not treated like other Irish people.’
Rather than dwell on these negative experiences, Grace sees herself as being in a position of responsibility and believes she can help eradicate racism for those who follow.
‘We need to emphasise that a small step can make a big change,’ she says. ‘A person could have a conversation about race with their family, there could be four people in that family and each if those people goes out and discusses it with their friends it will continue.
‘Pressure creates change. We are the generation who can create change and make things better for those who come after us.’
Precious Obasohan, Enniscorthy
Precious Obasohan hopes to one day study medicine in University, maybe in UCD. She hopes to graduate, find work in her chosen field, and build a successful career.
But she worries her race will hinder her chances, that people who have never laid eyes on her will view her differently because of her name.
‘Knowing my name is so distinctive, it could be the reason I don’t get a job. It’s so different to Irish names, and if someone sees it on a CV it could prevent me from getting a job in the future,’ she says.
‘I’m in Fifth Year at the moment and I’d love to do medicine after school, maybe in UCD. But I worry my colour might work against me.
‘My parents know people who work in a hospital and it took them much longer than it should have to get work there bcause of the colour of their skin. People might say, how do you know that? But these people had amazing credentials, lots of qualifications, and people who had less than them got in ahead of them.’
Born in Ireland to Nigerian parents, Precious says there’s nowhere else in the world she would rather live than Wexford and wishes she could fulfil all of her ambitions right here.
Yet she too has experienced racism, so much so that she has simply grown used to it.
Her main concern now centres on her younger siblings.
‘When I was younger I felt horrible, inferior, I felt less. But now I’m used to it. It doesn’t affect me at all. I know other people are getting it worse.
‘But I’m seeing it happen to my younger siblings now and that’s tough. I have a brother who has just started primary school and my parents had to tell him if something happens don’t do anything, just wait till he comes home and he can cry here.’
And Precious believes that if behaviours are ever to change in this country it must begin in the home, with the parents.
‘ The thing about racism here is that it’s casual. People aren’t aware they are doing it. But it’s not a biological thing either,’ she says.
‘I can understand why a twoyear-old might look at me and point. But afterwards the child’s parents need to have a conversation and explain that I am no different to them, that I just have more melanin in my skin. Black parents have had to have those kind of conversations about race with their children for generations.’
These negative experiences haven’t altered the way Precious views her country of birth. On the contrary; she is proud to be Irish, she is knowledgeable about the country’s history, about the suffering of those who came before.
‘I’ve grown up here, I know the history of Irish people, how they were oppressed for centuries, Irish people know about oppression and what it does.’
Yet as the only black girl in her year, she admits to feelings of loneliness, of isolation, and points out how everyday events serve to remind her of how different she is.
‘ The hardest thing for me in school is not having anyone I can relate to. For example, when the sun is out everyone has to put on sun cream but I don’t. Or if it’s something to do with racism there’s no one I can really talk to. But I wouldn’t choose anywhere else to live. I love Wexford. There’s so many positives to life here.’
Furthermore, growing up as an ethnic minority has, she says, taught her a lot about life.
‘Growing up in an area where I’m a minority has taught me a lot about accepting things as they are, and understanding that as a minority I need to represent my race in a postive light.’