Himself and myself are on opposite sides in the Brangelina debate
I don’t know what I was more shocked about last week–the fact that Brad and Angelina split up or that Bono suddenly looks like he’s had a hair transplant! Anyone who’s seen photos of him recently will have noticed a sudden shock of auburn quiff that was never there before. I’d be very disappointed if he has. Bono is always the first on my celebrity dinner party list but if he’s vain enough to have had a hair transplant, I’ll have to reconsider.
But back to other news–Brad and Angelina. Myself and Himself are on opposite sides of the fence here. I never liked her. She stole Brad from Jen without a bye or leave, she never smiles, she looks like a skeleton and she wears vials of blood around her neck. As if that wasn’t enough evidence against her, she went onto have a heap of children, some biological, some adopted, none of whom look like they’ve ever seen a facecloth or a hairbrush in their lives!
Interestingly enough, in all the conversations I’ve had with people about this in recent days, (mostly women admittedly) no one has a bad word to say about Brad despite the rumours that he had an affair, was drinking and smoking too much and venting at the kids.
Brad is still being seen as a good guy. A guy driven to drink by a controlling, manipulative wife. Women just can’t forget the fact she stole him from another woman and that is the basis for all their dislike. Doesn’t matter that she saved a zillion orphans. She stole another woman’s man.
Himself doesn’t have this issue. He’s always had a soft spot for Angelina. She’s his Hall Pass and now that she’s single he thinks he might be in with a chance! He came home from work beaming last week. ‘Did you hear about Brad and Angelina?’ he asks.
‘I did,’ says I. ‘Serves her right. Never liked her.’
‘Ah she’s lovely, My Angelina. You’re just jealous!’
Oh he knows what buttons to push. ‘Jealous?!’ I reply incredulously. ‘Of what?? The fact she looks like a walking cadaver, has bulgey eyes and kisses her own brother on the lips?? You’re only saying that because she’s your Hall Pass!’
The Fourteen Year old who is listening with amusement asks what a Hall Pass is. ‘It basically means each of us chooses one celebrity who if we were ever to meet them and they showed significant interest we would be allowed have a fling. His is Angelina, mine is Geoffrey Dean Morgan.’
Himself is grinning and rubbing his hands in glee. ‘Now Brad’s out of the picture you never know....’
The Eldest leans over and whispers ‘please tell me he’s not serious,’ before shouting at his father, ‘you needn’t think she’s coming here to live with all those kids.’ ‘Don’t worry’ I said. ‘It would never last. She can’t cook!’ ‘Either can you!’ So much for family loyalty!
HE’S ALWAYS HAD A SOFT SPOT FOR ANGELINA. SHE’S HIS HALL PASS AND NOW THAT SHE’S SINGLE HE THINKS HE MIGHT BE IN WITH A CHANCE!