Gorey Guardian

Can you name 10 things that you’ve done that your friends haven’t?

- O’Mahony

IN the 18 years I’ve been writing this column, I’ve never once been stuck for something to write about. I’m sure there have been weeks when people have read it and said, ‘what is she going on about? or ‘what a load of drivel’ but I’ve always had something I’ve wanted to get off my chest.

Except for this week. For some strange reason. I have nothing to say. So, due to lack of column fodder I’ve decided to borrow an idea from facebook. The idea being that you have to write ten things that you’ve done that none of your friends have done. Indulge me. It’s a slow week as I said!

1. I once judged a beauty contest with the late great Gerry Ryan. We got plastered, him on whiskey, me on Smirnoff Ice and we were eventually thrown out of aforementi­oned nightclub.

2. Charlie Haughey flirted with me in a pub in Enniscorth­y in the 90’s when he came to visit and I was a young cub reporter. He held my hand for a few seconds too long and asked me what my name was and where was I from. I was totally smitten.

3. Myself and my friend went on a holiday to the Canaries when we were in our early twenties and pretended we were undercover reporters for the Sunday

World doing an expose on the criminal underworld.

We were lucky we weren’t killed!

4. As a teenager I was obsessed with U2 and used to write to Bono’s dad every single week asking him could he possibly arrange a meeting with his son! The poor man occasional­ly wrote back to me to try and get me off his back but this only encouraged me to keep going!

5. I starred in the first ever video Cry Before

Dawn made, (this one probably isn’t legitimate because half the town starred in it!). The evidence is on youtube.

6. I was sent to interview Gerry Adams in a local hotel quite a few years ago. It was his birthday and I asked him would he like to have a drink. He turned me down and said he didn’t drink! Talk about humiliatio­n.

7. I made my American television debut this year, flogging rugs on QVC. I will be making my second appearance in September for their Rose of Tralee sale. Yes there are many strings to my bow.

8. In the early days of my marriage I washed out a chicken with fairy liquid before I cooked it, because I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. There were bubbles in the stuffing.

9. I have had a cup of tea with Princes Charles and Camilla. I wasn’t allowed talk to them, just sit quietly and drink my tea. It was a miracle of modern times that I managed it.

10. I once judged a black pudding contest with Myrtle Allen and Biddy White Lennon, and made myself sick by eating ALL of the puddings instead of a bite of each.

See? I’ve lived dangerousl­y!

ONCE I WASHED OUT A CHICKEN WITH FAIRY LIQUID BEFORE I COOKED IT, BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT’S WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO

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