Exhibiting defiance
SIMON BOURKE REPORTS FROM THE CREATIVE HUB WHERE AN EXHIBITION OF WORKS IS AIMING TO LIFT THE LID ON COERCIVE CONTROL – A COMPLEX TYPE OF ABUSE THAT REMAINS A DEEP CONCERN
COERCIVE control is defined by Women’s Aid as ‘a persistent pattern of controlling, coercive and threatening behaviour including all or some forms of domestic abuse, including emotional, physical, financial and sexual’.
In January of this year Ireland became just the third nation in the world to criminalise coercive control as part of the new Domestic Violence Act. Yet despite this, it remains a complex, challenging issue and one which is notoriously difficult to prove in a court of law.
However, an exhibition of works at the Creative Hub in Wexford Town sought to tackle public perceptions and heighten awareness of this often-misunderstood act.
Organised by the Wexford Women’s Refuge (WWR) this collection of art featured contributions from women who had endured years of coercive control and lived to tell the tale.
Among the works on show were journals and audio recordings documenting the women’s lives, explicit recollections of some of the most harrowing experiences imaginable. And yet this was not an exhibition of despair.
Alongside images depicting the darkest of hours were symbols of hope, murals and artworks which spoke of defiance, of overcoming one’s demons, of a future free of fear and heartache.
Introducing the exhibition, Pauline Ennis, manager of the WWR, discussed the impact of coercive control and the toll it took on the women who came to her and her colleagues for help.
‘Many women who talk to us say it would be much easier to take a punch than be constantly stripped of your confidence and your being in this way,’ Pauline said.
‘But, make no mistake, this is not about sadness, this is about freedom, loving yourself, courage and starting over. It’s also about helping other women to gain their voices and reach out for support.’
‘The women in this project have sweated blood and tears with so much commitment and dedication that it’s blown everybody away; I can’t speak highly enough of them, they’re driven with the desire to stand up, speak out, challenge the status quo and reclaim their power in order to help others.’
And although it is now enshrined in Irish law, Pauline said even those at the highest echelons of our legal system were having difficulty convicting offenders.
‘We welcome the new legislation which made coercive control a crime, but there are concerns,’ she said.
‘Legal experts and people from Women’s Aid are concerned about the great difficulty of taking coercive control as an offence to court, where the judges decide what is and what isn’t coercive control.’
The exhibition was led by visual artist Deirdre Meehan-Buttimer who said it was partly inspired by the experiences of a loved one.
‘It came about through someone close to me who was in an abusive relationship, but it wasn’t physically abusive. She was having great difficulty in trying to understand it and explain it. I started reading about it and my interest in it grew.’
Emphasising that this isn’t just a women’s issue and she personally knows of at least two men who are in similar situations, Deirdre said the creative process has proved challenging for those involved.
‘The brainstorming sessions were quite triggering for a lot of people but it worked, because once we started reading it back to one another we realised that people were saying the same thing, using different words but saying the same things, using the same themes.’
Also speaking on the night was feminist, socialist and activist Ailbhe Smyth, and she said it was time society as a whole started to look at how it treats women.
‘This is an issue for all of us as a society, as a culture. It raises the question as to how we believe we should treat one another. This work all around us is telling us that what is happening inside so many families is so deeply and profoundly wrong.
‘And the huge problem is it is so often hidden, made a secret, because there is stigma and shame for women in speaking out about what happens to them.’
Because many cases don’t involve any actual physical violence, Ailbhe said coercive control can often be dismissed as not being particularly serious.
‘People say “Oh but he never laid a finger on her, he never touched her.”
‘Read the journals here, how many of the women say he was all charm, he was so apologetic after he was horrible to me, he sent me flowers.
‘This is about women stepping forward to expose and reveal the depth of hatred of women which is still present in our society. We don’t always name is as hatred of women, but you really must hate women to treat your own partner in the ways in which you can see described in the work around us,’ said Ailbhe.
‘There is the destruction of so many lives here that it can’t leave any of us untouched.
‘There is tremendous bravery, determination, resilience and a kind of commitment, a dedication, not just to the self, but to the children, to say I will not let this defeat me.’
THERE IS STIGMA AND SHAME FOR WOMEN IN SPEAKING OUT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM