All set for a feast of Christmas crackers
IT’S EXTREMELY unlikely that myself and Roy Wood and his Wizzard pals would see eye to eye, as anybody who repeatedly belts out ‘I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday’ with great gusto clearly isn’t much of a sports fan.
The Christmas cheer and merriment can only get you so far before you’re yearning for a bit of live sporting action after gorging on festive movies that you’ve seen a thousand times before.
Don’t get my wrong I’m not some Grinch-like character that retreats to my dark, dank cavern for the special day.
In fact I adore the wide-eyed excitement on the children’s faces when they find what Santa has left them on Christmas morning and the general goodwill that emanates from most folk around this time of year is a joy to behold.
However, by the time I get through to Christmas night I’ve had enough of the endless repeats on television as well as the dinner and beer repeating on myself.
The button of the trousers is sure to be fit to burst from all of the over-indulgence, while I’ll have fallen out with the in-laws and I’ll have to tip-toe around the sitting room for fear of injuring myself on some hazardous toy that’s been thoughtlessly thrown to one side.
For fear of sounding like the poor unfortunate sod that’s left with the sweets that nobody wants at the bottom of the ever-decreasing box of Quality Streets I do love the festive season as a whole package, it’s just a small bit of Christmas Day that I find tiresome.
That’s what makes St. Stephen’s Day and the days that follow so special, a time when you still can enjoy the family-oriented stuff, but you’re also treated to a feast of sporting action after a brief, yet testing, famine.
When I emerge from the cloudiness of Christmas Day, there’s the King George VI Chase at Kempton to whet the appetite of horse racing fans, not to mention the top class National Hunt fare closer to home at Leopardstown.
While I’m trying to plot my course around a setting akin to something from the opening scenes of Saving Private Ryan, side-stepping play things and jumping over empty beer cans, top horsemen and women are navigating tricky fences at lightning speed for the entertainment of myself and others, as losing dockets take their place among discarded wrapping paper.
While I’m swerving in an out of the boxes that are to be left out for recycling like some former wing wizard well past his prime, the jam-packed football programme across the water is bound to offer thrills and spills for those yearning for a touch of sporting drama, with matches from the upper echelons of the Premier League all the way down to the lowly depths of League Two sure to entertain.
Leicester City versus Liverpool is certainly the stand-out fixture on St. Stephen’s Day, but after emerging from a turkey and ham-induced coma, Tottenham taking on Brighton or Manchester United locking horns with Newcastle could also entice me in like a pool on a warm summer’s day in Salou.
The following day is when the PDC World Darts Championship really sparks into life and if you’re looking for some oohs and aahs during pantomime season the Ally Pally is the place to find it.
From rocking walk-on tunes, lashings and lashings of 180s, high check-outs and the tension-filled drama of missed doubles, the darts has more to offer that Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk and Robin Hood all rolled into one, and the latter wasn’t even as accurate with an arrow.
There might me some spanking new underwear, snazzy socks, scents that will have me smelling sweeter than molasses, or some interesting reading to get me through the lazy holiday period left under the tree, but the perfect Christmas gift for yours truly would be a little bit of peace and quiet to enjoy the sporting drama unfold.
Now excuse me while I carefully plan the Yuletide itinerary as I can’t leave anything to chance.
To all who have taken the time to read this column during the year I wish you the happiest and most rewarding of festive seasons.
In the words of Roy Wood, ‘Let the bells ring out for Christmas’.