LIVING IN AUSTRALIA – SETTLING DOWN, HAVING BABIES AND BUILDING A NEW LIFE
IN the final part of our series, we speak to people who have not just emigrated and settled in Australia, but who have married, with some of them starting a family there.
Lorraine Colfer, Carrig-on-Bannow
So far we have spoken to several people who left Ireland because of the recession. Yet in each of those instances they either left on their own or with a partner or friends.
None had children, none had the added pressure of relocating their little ones, taking them out of school and away from their friends and grandparents.
But this was the situation facing Lorraine and Peter Colfer as the economic crash wrought havoc upon their lives in 2009 and left them facing the prospect of emigrating to an unfamiliar land thousands of miles away.
‘I remember when we first landed in Australia all I wanted to do was turn around and go straight back where we came from, it was such a daunting moment landing in a big country where we knew nobody with two kids,’ Lorraine recalls.
‘I was terrified. We had a holiday apartment booked for two weeks and that was how long we had to find a house, buy a car, find a school and organise all our tax numbers, medical numbers and driver’s licences.
‘But we felt that Ireland was about to go through a very tough time for a very long time and if we could give our kids a better chance in another country well then, why not?’
Lorraine was 29 at the time, her husband Peter 34, their son Eoin 8, daughter Zoe just one.
And one of the hardest moments in those early days came when Eoin had his first day in his new school.
‘That in itself was a massive adjustment – just going from a small country school to a primary school with around 900 students,’ Lorraine says. ‘It definitely takes a long time to settle into a big town after coming from a small country town.’
Adding to their early problems were Peter’s difficulties in finding work. A bricklayer by trade, opportunities weren’t immediately forthcoming.
‘He found it hard to get work initially; like everywhere, it always seems to be easier if you know someone in the industry,’ says Lorraine.
‘Luckily after a few months someone gave him a chance to get his hands dirty again. It was an adjustment bricklaying here for him too. Everything seems so different in the beginning.’
Now with a business of his own, and one which helps apprentices start their own careers, those early days searching for work seem like a distant memory. As do Lorraine’s first forays into the Australian job market.
‘After about six months of settling in I decided it was time for me to start looking for work. So I did a medical reception and terminology course in the private hospital on Saturdays to give me some sort of chance to find a good job.
‘I am now second in charge in a big medical centre that gave me my first job here 10 years ago.’
As a married couple with children, integrating socially was also a challenge. Unlike the majority of new arrivals, they couldn’t head to the nearest Irish bar and connect over a few pints. They had to make an effort to find like-minded individuals, those in a similar scenario to themselves.
‘We didn’t come over with anyone just ourselves and we knew no one where we landed. I made it my business to join a mother’s group to try and meet people and get Zoe out of the house during the day,’ Lorraine says.
‘I was lucky enough to meet a lovely Irish girl there and we have been friends ever since. Hilary and her family really took us under their wings and from then on our new life started to feel somewhat normal.’
Adding to that new life was a new addition to the Colfer family, an eight-year-old girl who Lorraine describes as ‘our own little Aussie’.
Megan, their third child, was born in Australia and she, like Eoin and Zoe, has grown up on the Northern Gold Coast.
‘We have no plans to move back to Ireland. We are here 11 years so far and have had our own little Aussie, Megan, who is now eight years old, and built our family home. Our kids are happy and we are very settled.
‘Of course we miss Ireland, mainly for our family and friends. We get homesick like everyone else but we also know how lucky we are to have what we have here in Oz. We both have big families and none of them live here, so we tend to miss a lot of family occasions and that is probably the hardest part of our decision to move,’ Lorraine says.
Chloe Bates, Kilmore
Turning 21 is usually cause for celebration, a big party, surrounded by family and friends. This is exactly what Chloe Bates did when she reached that age. However, her party was one with a difference. In addition to celebrating her birthday she was also waving goodbye to her loved ones, with a year-long sojourn to Australia in the offing.
That year-long trip with then boyfriend Adrian has since been extended, so much so that now, 13 years later, they haven’t come back.
‘When we decided to leave, we just wanted to travel and experience a new country. We wanted to go on an adventure and check it out,’ explains Chloe.
‘The reason we stayed was because the global financial collapse hit and there was a downturn in the Irish economy, which meant there were more opportunities here than back at home.
‘This variance in the economy has never really shifted and I struggle with that as I would love to go home, but the opportunities are few and far between.’
The opportunities in Australia led to Chloe first working in administration before going back to college and studying in the field of health and safety, a sector she has worked in for the past seven years.
And her now husband Adrian, like many we have spoken to, has built a new business from scratch. His company ‘Craftsmen Services’ is now firmly established in the local market.
The couple have also built a family, their daughters Ruby and Tilly both born in Sydney where they now live.
‘In terms of children, the quality of lifestyle for kids here is amazing,’ says Chloe.
‘Life here is geared towards being outdoors, whether that’s a walk every evening, a swim after school with friends and a barbecue. The sport for kids is also so diverse, even the winter sports are enjoyable. Sport is also how we’ve met so many friends and other Irish families like ourselves.’
Not surprisingly, given the parlous state of the Irish health system, Chloe says its Australian equivalent is miles ahead when it comes to looking after children.
‘The healthcare system here is very high quality and once you become a permanent resident you get Medicare and you will want for nothing in terms of health. The stories I read about the Irish health system scare me.’
However, not everything is better on the other side of the world.
‘I think the education system in Ireland is far better than in Australia. The curriculum is far more advanced and pushes children harder.
‘When I compare my daughter’s school work with my friend’s children in Ireland, the Irish kids are streets ahead. We are not called the land of saints and scholars for nothing. I am hoping my girls will go to university in Ireland.’
That last line suggests Chloe sees her long-term future back here in Wexford, and she admits this is something which has already crossed her mind.
‘To be completely honest I did plan to go home to Wexford with the girls.
‘First it was the plan to come home when my oldest started school, and then home for her communion and so on, but time goes by and we’ve spent more of our adult lives here than at home and to be honest I’m scared to go home, like I won’t fit in.
‘I had a great upbringing in Wexford but my girls have such a great life here. We’ve been able to offer them so many experiences.’
The ultimate aim is to have a base in both countries, to spend half the year in Australia and half in Ireland, ‘follow the sun’ as Chloe puts it.
Because, in spite of everything, the pull of home grows stronger with each passing year.
‘I miss Ireland a lot, I love having my feet on Irish soil I feel like I’m home. But mostly I miss the people, I miss my parents, grandparents, brothers and sister the most.
‘I hate moving on with my life without them around me and my children, it is tough. I miss my Irish friends too, there is nothing better than a friend that you’ve known since childhood, it’s very special.
‘When I go home though I do feel like I’ve never been away and we all pick up where we left
Louise Malone, Wexford town
‘When we found out we were expecting, I did consider going back to Ireland to give birth. Looking back on it, I think the thought of going home to have the baby was me extinguishing the guilt of knowing my family were missing out on this most amazing part of my life.’
These are the kind of quandaries Louise Malone has had to deal with since leaving for Australia in 2013, the kind of life-changing decisions that come with being a modern-day emigrant.
Ultimately, her son, Beau, was born in Brisbane - and Louise did manage to share some of those amazing moments with her parents.
‘We weighed up the pros and cons and decided we would stay in Australia. My parents flew out for a holiday when I was six months pregnant.
‘It was nice to spend that time with them and
‘IT WAS DAUNTING, LANDING IN A BIG COUNTRY WHERE WE KNEW NOBODY, WITH TWO KIDS’
they didn’t miss out on all those little belly kicks.’
Growing up in Wexford, Louise had always wanted to join the guards. However, when she finished school there was a ban on the recruitment of new gardaí and so she went to study criminal justice in Waterford Institute of Technology (WIT).
With her degree almost complete Louise returned to her original passion. She applied for the Garda reserves, took the written test, even sat the interview. Yet by that point, a new passion had taken precedence, one for travel.
‘During the last year of my college course the temptation of life in Australia was too much to ignore. When I finished my final exams, there was word that the Gardaí would soon be lifting the recruitment embargo. But in my mind the bags were already packed.’
Just a month after completing her degree Louise was on a plane to Australia, a one-year visa in her back pocket. And that was how long she intended to stay, just a year.
‘Emigrating was not something I had ever really considered. The thought of leaving everyone behind in Wexford scared me. My family and I are all very close and I was a real home bird with a great group of friends around me. I suppose I ended up being the “accidental emigrant” in the end.’
After stints in Sydney, Darwin and Melbourne, Louise eventually settled in Brisbane, finding work in real estate, and in 2018 she and partner Paul welcomed Beau into the world.
And it was a world which catered for all her needs as a new mother.
‘We went through the public system, and I honestly couldn’t fault it. The costs are covered by Medicare, so we weren’t out of pocket. We had four scans (one of which I paid for as it was an extra one that I wanted) and ample visits to midwives, doctors, obstetricians and gynaecologists throughout the nine months.
‘The hospital also offered antenatal classes one evening a week for five weeks to give you all the information you needed to prepare you for the baby.’
After Beau was born Louise received home visits from her midwife and availed of dropin clinics, feeding classes, immunisations, post-natal exercise classes and a 12-week course with a physiotherapist, all covered by her Medicare.
Now, with her maternity leave coming to an end in September, she will have to put her son into daycare, but even that will be subsidised by the health system.
‘You can get the childcare rebate to help with the cost, it’s means tested with the higher threshold being 85% rebate and the lower being 50%, depending on your family income.
‘I’m always a bit jealous of families that have the grandparents or aunties, uncles and cousins nearby who you can just call to babysit - even if it’s just for an hour. I’d let them know not to take that for granted.’
But with Beau’s first visit home in the offing he will soon have more than enough babysitters at his beck and call.
‘He is also very lucky to have dual nationality,’ says Louise, ‘That will definitely open a lot more opportunities for him in his future if he wants to travel the world.
Donna Campbell, New Ross
Every morning when Donna Campbell’s son Liam wakes up, the first thing he says is ‘Time to call Ireland.’
‘He thinks it’s normal to Skype his Nana, Grandad and Auntie Kerrie while he’s having his breakfast,’ Donna says.
Having left Ireland in 2004 to take up a position with Tourism Ireland in Frankfurt, Donna subsequently moved on to Paris before landing in Sydney in 2008.
‘I moved to Sydney solo, but I quickly integrated myself into the thriving Irish-Australian community that exists here by volunteering my free time to organisations such as The Sydney St. Patrick’s Day Committee, The Rose of Tralee Committee and The Ireland Funds Australia,’ she says.
Now settled in a suburb in the Sutherland Shire – ‘I like to refer to myself as ShIrish’ – Donna and husband Andy have established their careers and built up a strong network of friends.
‘I feel a very strong connection to both Ireland and Australia, and both countries have their own positives and negatives. For now, home is definitely Australia.
‘I aim to go home at least once a year. Since buying a house here, we get a steady influx of visitors too.’
And during the recent fires which consumed large swathes of the country, Donna, in her role as chair of the Ireland Fund Australia Young Leaders, has been leading efforts to raise money for those affected by the disaster.
‘To try and see a positive side of it all, the bush fires have brought so many communities closer together in terms of awareness, support and fundraising.
‘The Irish-Australian community has also been very supportive in helping those in need, I’m currently working closely with our committee and other Irish community groups to organise an Irish-led fundraiser for the bushfires.’
You can learn more about Donna’s campaign at irelandfunds.org/bushfirerelief
Rory Lennon, Enniscorthy
‘Mary and I have three dogs, but no human children yet,’ laughs Rory Lennon who has been living in Australia for the past 15 years and married Mary, the love of his life, in 2015.
Rory left at a time when the Irish economy was booming, in 2005. He had entered the family trade of construction and woodwork with the intention of becoming a cabinet maker, but felt he needed some time away before beginning his career full-time.
‘There was never a plan to emigrate permanently. The idea was to travel for a year with my best friends once we all qualified in our fields. This was 2005 and Ireland was booming, everyone was talking about property and investing. I was 25 and I just wanted to get away,’ he says.
However, upon arriving in Sydney, Rory made what he describes as a ‘selfish decision’. He opted not to continue the journey with his friends, to strike out on his own.
‘This was a very selfish decision, which I feel guilty about to this day, but it was the right decision for me. I needed to stand on my own two feet without that support network backing me up. Australia offered freedom and possibilities.’
And when the Irish economy crashed in 2008 the die was cast – Rory would stay in Australia and continue to build a life for himself there.
‘I was eventually granted permanent residency in November 2011, exactly six years to the day that we first landed in Sydney. Since then I have worked continuously in my trade,’ he says.
Admitting that life in Oz can be ‘difficult and, at times, very lonely’, Rory has made it back home six times since 2005. And on one of those occasions he brought a special someone with him.
‘When I proposed to my Australian girlfriend Mary, we decided to get married in Ireland. Weddings are an emotional day for everyone, but I cannot express how grateful
I was, not just to be marrying the love of my life, but to do it in the presence of my family and friends. ‘Overwhelming is an understatement.’ Having been away for so long, Rory fears that even if he were to return for good, he wouldn’t be able to re-adapt to life in Ireland.
‘The prospect of giving up our life in Australia and moving back to Ireland is extremely daunting. I have been gone for so long. Finding a job and a place to live is a real concern, but I also wonder whether my wife and I could adapt to life in Ireland.
‘I have read many articles on ex-pats returning home to Ireland and genuinely struggling to find their feet. Some have turned around and left again.’
But for now he is simply looking forward to his next trip home for his 40th birthday in April.
‘What the future holds I cannot say, but for now I am very much looking forward to stepping back on to Irish soil and spending some long overdue time with my family and friends.’
Ciaran Wright, Ballycogley
Ciaran Wright is due to become a father for the first time in June of this year. And although he is happy for his child to be born in Australia, he hopes that its formative years will be spent back home, in Ireland.
‘I expect to stay in Australia for a few more years, but we would expect to return home before the baby starts national school. While Australia is a great place for a child to be brought up in, it will never be Wexford and it will never be home,’ Ciaran says.
And their decision to have the baby in Sydney has caused some heartache for both his and partner Caoimhe’s families.
‘It will be hard, starting a family out here without any family support. And it’s the first grandchild on both Caoimhe’s and my side of the family, so the grandparents are not happy. But when we weighed up the options, it was a easy decision to stay here.’
The main contributory factor in their decision is work-related, and it was for those reasons that Ciaran left Wexford in 2010.
‘At the time I wasn’t working so I decided I would chance Sydney for a year. And at the time I really thought a year was the most I would do,’ he says.
Upon arrival he quickly realised that Australia was, in many ways, a home from home.
‘I went with Darren Foran from Rosslare, and we already knew a lot of people out here. One of the first things you realise when you land here is how big the Irish community is.
‘The GAA play a massive part in that and your club becomes like a family. A lot of Wexford people played with a club called Craobh Phadraigh. They were founded in 2003 by a Wexford man Shane O’Brien, who sadly passed away before Christmas.
‘So I joined up with them and am now the chairman of the club, and we still have lots of Wexford men and women with us.’
A common theme throughout these pieces has been the entreprenurial nature of Wexford ex-pats, their ability to enter a thriving economy and find ways to make it work for them.
And in that sense, Ciaran is no different. ‘I had come from a construction background, but decided I wanted to get into sales and I got a sales job straight away. I now currently have my own recruitment and labour hire company, so I suppose it’s a good mix of my construction and sales background. This is probably not something I would have achieved so young at home.’
Managing to get back home once a year, Ciaran and Caoimhe hope to bring their baby back to Ireland to meet its grandparents as soon as they can, and while they’re there the new father might get to experience something most of us would gladly give away for free.
‘You miss the craic and the sense of community that only Ireland has. In the last while I’ve even missed the cold mornings in Ireland.’