I’M IN LOVE WITH MY HUSBAND’S BEST FRIEND

I am having an affair with my husband’s best friend. They met at university. My marriage is reasonably good and I like my husband, but there has never been any great passion between us. Our children have left home, as have my lover’s. I am in my 50s and think this is probably my last chance to have a romantic connection with great sex. His relationship with his wife is platonic and my husband and I don’t have sex very often. Our families are close and we see a lot of each other socially, so I feel constantly guilty. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t end the affair – I have never been happier. I know that if our spouses found out, they would be devastated. I don’t know how it’s all going to end. In tears, probably. You are playing with fire and as you are all so close, the chances of you being caught are high. How long do you think this can continue without one of your spouses becoming suspicious? They could notice a certain intimacy between you, stumble upon you sharing a stolen kiss or overhear an intimate conversation. It is so easy to forget to delete texts and emails and get caught. It’s the same with a forgotten hotel bill, or your husband or his wife coming home unexpectedly to find you in bed together. If the affair is discovered, it will devastate your husband, your lover’s wife (who is presumably also a friend of yours) and your children – and wreck your husband’s relationship with his best friend. In this scenario your lover may leave his wife, but, alternatively, he could beg her for forgiveness and have nothing more to do with you. You would then lose him and your husband. Talk to your lover about whether you would have a future together if the affair was discovered. You may be disappointed. If, however, you love each other and want to be together, it would be more honest to end your marriages. Otherwise, you should end the affair.