SHE DISAPPROVES OF MY PARENTING

My mother-in-law made it clear from the beginning that she does not approve of me. Her son and I have been married for four years, we have a two-year-old daughter and another baby on the way. We have seen a lot of her since we had our first child and she loves her granddaughter. However, she does not always approve of the way I bring up our daughter and makes negative comments. My husband tries to support me, but we don’t know how to deal with her. I am tempted to tell her to stop coming round to our house, but I know that would neither be fair nor the answer to the problem. Some mothers put their son on a pedestal and are jealous of anyone who may take their place as the most important woman in his life. This means that no woman will ever be good enough for him. Ask your husband if there has been a pattern of this with previous girlfriends. You are right to want to tackle this problem now and it is vital that your husband supports you 100 per cent, so that you can present a united front to his mother. Talk to her together. Start positively, by praising her for being a loving grandmother. Your husband should explain that it is difficult for both of you to feel that she disapproves of your parenting. He needs to tell her that he thinks you’re a wonderful mother – you may do things slightly differently to how she would, but that it is what you both want. Tell her that it would be lovely if she could support you in that.