I’M IN LOVE WITH MY SISTER’S HUSBAND

My life is in turmoil. I have adored my brother-in-law from the day my sister first introduced us six years ago. Despite having had several boyfriends since then, my feelings for him have continued to grow. He has told me that he loves me, but also loves my sister and would never leave her and their two young children. We haven’t had an affair – I would like to, but I couldn’t do that to my sister – though we have touched, kissed, exchanged texts and occasionally had meals out together. I don’t know what to do. Part of me knows this relationship does not have a future, but the other part wishes we could be together for ever. I can picture you standing on the edge of a cliff, looking out to sea and thinking about how lovely being with this man would be – but the reality is that if you take one more step, you will crash on to the rocks below. He is the last man that you should have a relationship with. If he ended his marriage or had an affair with you (and the chances are high that it would be discovered), your sister would be devastated and it could destroy her marriage and your relationship with her for ever. Think what this would do to their children. Your parents would be torn in two, wanting to do everything they could to help and support their daughter and grandchildren, but also aware that the woman who has caused such havoc is their other daughter, who they love, too. They would probably be very angry with you and could even reject you, which would be awful. Imagine if this situation was the other way round. How would you feel if your sister was having a relationship with your husband? You both have to tell yourselves that this relationship has no future, you cannot have an affair and you must stop all texts, romantic meals, touching and kissing – all of which are the ingredients of an emotional affair. You must understand that what you are doing is wrong and walk away. In time, you will find love elsewhere. Try reading Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to a Lost Love by Dr Lisa Bobby (Sterling, €12.99).