SHOULD I END MY TRANSATLANTIC AFFAIR?

I am a 35-year-old American woman and while working abroad I had a two-year affair with a married man. There was never any question of him leaving his wife, despite the fact that there was little sex in their relationship as he had two small children and a high-powered job. I fell in love with him and, as well as being a fantastic lover, he also became a close friend. Because of this, we agreed to keep in touch and meet when either of us was travelling nearby. I returned to the US six months ago and we have been emailing each other every day. Is there anything wrong with us staying in contact? It’s not affecting the marriage and we are miles apart. If only relationships were as easy as that. You are playing a dangerous game by being in touch with this man every day. You are sexually attracted to each other and there is an emotional intimacy between you, so when you do eventually meet up, are you just going to sit and talk over a coffee and then bid each other goodbye? The reality is that you would be meeting in romantic locations a long way from home – in which case, how would you resist the temptation of having sex? You are both betraying his wife. I get many letters from people who have discovered that their partner is having an affair – often because they have found an email that their spouse forgot to delete. But what about you? I fear you are putting your love life on hold waiting for a few brief hours or days with this man, when what you should be doing is ending this relationship so that you are free to meet and fall in love with someone new, who you can realistically share your life with. Also, as he has little sex with his wife and you are no longer near him, there is a strong possibility that he will be tempted to have other affairs.