I STILL HAVE STRONG FEELINGS FOR MY FIRST LOVE

I met my first love when we were both seven. After meeting again at 17, we became best friends, started dating and I lost my virginity to him. At 19, he went to university and I took a gap year. We split up as I felt we were too young to settle down at the time. We found each other again eight years later and it was as if we had never been apart. But he had not fulfilled his lifelong ambition to travel the world, so he ended the relationship. Whenever we saw each other after that, he would try to get me into bed and say that leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life. But I turned him down as I was with my boyfriend (now my husband – we have been together for seven years and married for two). I haven’t seen my first love for three years. Then, as I was getting ready for a friend’s wedding recently, I had butterflies as I knew he was going to be there. He is also married and neither of us has children. When I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. We didn’t get a chance to speak, but now I ache for him. I love my husband so much, but I don’t know what to do. Should I try to get in touch with my first love to discuss this? I have no idea how he feels. I suspect that, whatever I say, your feelings for him are so strong that you will contact him, as you won’t rest until you know how he feels about you. But it is a high-risk strategy. If you discovered that you both feel the same way – and as you have no children – you would probably end your marriages so that you could be together. That would hurt both of your spouses, but staying in a marriage while longing to be with someone else isn’t fair on them either. You love your husband and there is no guarantee that if you left him for your first love it would work out. Also, he hasn’t tried to get in touch with you, which could suggest he is happy with his wife. If this turned out to be the case, it might help you to let go. Don’t be tempted to have an affair if he suggests it, should you meet up. If you discover he doesn’t feel the same way, enjoy being with your husband, whom you love, and consign this other man to history.