MY PARTNER IS AN ALCOHOLIC

I have been with my partner for seven years and we have a five-yearold daughter. Eighteen months ago, I discovered that he had been having a long-term affair with a colleague. I asked him to leave our home and he did, but then he started bingedrinking every evening. He was a mess so I took him back, hoping his remorse was a sign of love and regret. It wasn’t, and a pattern developed of me taking him back for weeks, or sometimes months, and then asking him to leave again. His affair continued. He has no empathy for what he is doing to me. He is about to be made redundant and a few days ago he was so drunk and upset that he threatened to commit suicide. He used to be such a kind man and now he is so difficult to deal with. How do I break this cycle without him destroying himself? Should I even care when he has hurt me so much? Your partner has let you and his daughter down badly and he is still doing so. You have given him many chances and he has abused all of them through his drinking and continuation of the affair. I really think it’s time you looked after yourself and your daughter more. If you take him back yet again, he is unlikely to stop drinking or end the affair. So tell him that it’s over and that you can’t take any more. Ask him to get help by contacting Alcoholics Anonymous (01 842 0700, alcoholicsanonymous.ie). He could also ring the Samaritans helpline (116 123). If he refuses to get help or carries out his threats, it is not your fault. You have tried to help so often and now he really has to be responsible for himself.