MY SON’S WIFE IS USING HIM FOR HIS MONEY

I am at my wits’ end. My daughter-in-law blanks our side of the family and is a total gold-digger. Two years ago, she told my son to leave their home. They separated and he had a breakdown. He then met a lovely woman and they were planning to buy a house together. But we had to involve a solicitor as his wife wanted to keep their house, which was in fact ours. Then my daughter-in-law called me in tears and said she wanted my son back. I felt sorry for her, so I persuaded him to return for the sake of his two young daughters. He agreed, but was heartbroken to give up his girlfriend and his happiness. I paid for all of us to go on holiday to Italy, but it didn’t go well. My son works hard and helps out hugely with the children and the house. She never invites me or my husband to their home to visit – not even for the grandchildren’s birthday parties. I love my granddaughters and son and don’t want to cut off my relationship with them, but his wife just doesn’t want me around. If your daughter-in-law is the gold-digger that you say she is, I am afraid it sounds as though she only wanted your son back so that she could keep living in the house, rather than because she loves him. Divorce is always devastating when there are children involved, but living with parents who are unhappy or don’t really like each other is also difficult. One of the things that can help children in this situation is having a close relationship with their grandparents, so that they have something in their life that feels safe and stable, and someone they can turn to when they are unhappy. Try to have a good relationship with them so that you can be involved in their lives. You could suggest to your son that he has joint counselling to see whether he and his wife can improve their marriage, or to support them and the children through a divorce if they can’t. Perhaps he could go alone to decide whether he really wants to stay in a marriage which sounds unhappy.