Irish Daily Mail - YOU - - HEALTH -

When my son was very young, I split up with his fa­ther and be­gan a re­la­tion­ship with a much older man. He never truly ac­knowl­edged me as his girl­friend and when I be­came preg­nant, he pres­sured me into hav­ing an abor­tion. I was only 24. Within about two years, he got an­other girl preg­nant and mar­ried her. They are still hap­pily mar­ried. I have re­cently cut off all con­tact with him. I am now 40 and so lonely. I can’t get a boyfriend, de­spite try­ing var­i­ous dat­ing sites. I feel there is some­thing deeply unlovable about me. I don’t think I will ever be able to let go of this man. You are still hang­ing on to the fan­tasy that he was the right man for you and this is made worse by the fact that he is now hap­pily mar­ried with chil­dren, which is the life that you wanted with him. It’s painful, but you need to face the fact that he never loved you. He just used you for sex and aban­doned you when he met some­one new. You are hang­ing on to a dream that has turned into a night­mare. An­other rea­son why it has been so dif­fi­cult for you to move on is the fact that you have only re­cently cut off all con­tact with him. Tell your­self that you are not go­ing to let this man wreck the rest of your life, con­sign him to his­tory and en­joy spend­ing time with your son. You are not unlovable, but you need to like and love your­self in or­der to be­lieve that other peo­ple can love you. Please have coun­selling with Ac­cord (ac­ to work on this. Try more dat­ing sites, but also try to make new friends. Join Meetup ( to dis­cover groups that could im­prove your so­cial life.

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