WHY IS SHE SO THOUGHTLESS?

What can I do about my tactless sister-in-law? She told my 14-year-old daughter, who has acne, that she had some nice skincare products for her and that she would bring them over for her birthday. But she never spoke to me about it and I feel as though she went behind my back. She had no idea I was trying to sort it out anyway. I have been able to get her a treatment from the doctor which has helped, but there is still scarring. Then the present arrived two months late, which really upset my daughter as she had been longing for it. I was so cross. It sounds as if your sister-in-law has good intentions, but is thoughtless and has gone about this situation in the wrong way. I can understand that you are cross, but hopefully – with a little gentle guidance on your part – she will get it right in the future. Start by thanking her for thinking of your daughter and trying to help. Tell her gently that, while you’re both grateful for her care and concern, you would appreciate it if she could run things like this past you first, as it is a sensitive issue. Tell her about the steps you have already taken and how the medication from the GP has helped. You can’t change the past, but if a present is promised again and she doesn’t seem to be following through with it, you could phone her and explain how much your daughter is looking forward to it, and perhaps ask whether she has forgotten. Your tact will hopefully make up for her lack of it and you can avoid falling out.