WILL MY FEELINGS RUIN OUR BOND?

My wife died a little while ago. She was in her mid-70s, like me. For the past ten years, we had gone on holiday with her friend, who is in her early 60s, and now this friend has asked me to go on holiday with her to the same place and stay in a two-bedroom apartment. I have agreed. She is an attractive woman and I have feelings for her, but I’m worried that I might make a fool of myself and ruin a wonderful friendship. What do you think? I am so sorry about the death of your wife. The fact that your wife’s friend has asked you to go on holiday with her certainly suggests that she likes you and enjoys your company. Though this might well be just as a friend, it could also be because she has feelings for you, too. However, you need to tread sensitively and it might be an idea to find out how the land lies before you go away together. Perhaps you could invite her out for a drink to plan the holiday and talk about how different it will be without your wife. Try to see if there are any signs that she feels the same way. Is she quite flirty, does she look into your eyes, smile seductively or perhaps touch your arm frequently? If so, then tell her how much you value her friendship and ask if she could ever imagine it being more than that. I hope she feels the same way, but if she makes it clear that she just sees you as a good friend, then it’s important to accept that and not cling on to any hope that she might change her mind.